Dear John: So You Want To Be President?

I've been sending John McCain some more telepathic messages, but it appears that they haven't been making it through. I'll share them with you and perhaps with our combined efforts, we can reach the Senators cerebral cortex. Here's what I think John McCain needs to do to be elected President:

1. Be a man. Stop whining about what Senator Obama says or does about your campaign. Stop whining about when Senator Obama misstates a policy position of yours, or when he flip-flops on an issue. If you are going to win this election, you're going to have to win Reagan Democrats, the folks who voted for Hilary Clinton. You're going to have to be positive, patriotic, and prepared. You are going to need to talk to the issues that interest middle and working class white men. Yep, I've said it. These are the people you will need to peel away from the Democratic Party in order to have an electoral college majority. You need to talk about gas prices...and how Democratic Party pandering is not helping with supply. You need to talk about winning wars, not ending them conveniently. You need to hammer away on Senator Obama's tax plans, especially capital gains...you need to remind people exactly what it is their 401K's are invested in and how they build wealth. On the "housing crisis", stop pandering to people who weren't going to vote for you anyway. I'd wager a month's pay that the overwhelming majority of people who have found themselves in this "crisis" were never going to vote for you anyway. Who will vote for you? People who are worried about the integrity of our fiscal system, people who understand that in many cases, Wall Street is simply more important than Main Street.

2. Drop the civility act. You are a fighter and an excitable man. Let some of that back out. Talk tough and blunt about Senator Obama's positions. Talk tough and blunt about those who agree with Senator Obama (Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Fidel Castro....). You're running for President, not Miss Congeniality. Don't be a jerk about it, just stop trying to be so damn cuddly.

3. Energy, energy, energy. This is the Republican Party's best issue and it is one you should be SAVAGING Senator Obama on. This is the uber-issue of the campaign....national security, education, commerce, trade, technology, fiscal/capital...all are touched by our increasing reliance on dubious sources of energy supply. The Democrats would have us dangerously walk away from oil without any proven alternative. You should be the voice of reason....take every opportunity you can to tie Senator Obama to anti-nuclear and anti-drilling dopes on the fringe.

4. Name Romney your VP now. Give him the economic portfolio. No funerals of heads of state, no war oversight, nothing but the economy. Be a big enough man to share the stage with a very big man.