Les ravages du temps

Oh Mr. Hammer, I didn't know it could be like THAT!

Gimme a pack of Marlboro Lights and a strawberry blunt.

Big Fat Friday Free For All

What's the matter D'Artagnan?  Rough week, huh?  Yeah.  We know.  Hard to be the savior of the free world when everyone's holding you to trivialities, like the law.  And your promises. 

Don't hold back, friend.  Let it out.  Bitch, whine, kvetch. 

Powerballin'

I read today where my lump sum winnings from this coming Saturday's Powerball drawing will be $304M (out of $475M--though this pot will grow, assuredly).  Very few pursuits in my life summon up the strategic thinker and planner in me as strongly as a two-hour drive to DC whilst pondering my approach to sudden, unspeakable wealth.

CW, as of this Saturday

I thought really hard about this.  Essentially I walk away with $150M.  I'd have to spend nearly $10M a year to NOT make money (5% rate of return). 

I added up how things would change.  First year, roughly $3M goes out to pay off family mortgages and and set up college funds for nieces and nephews.  I figure $150K per kid.  If you've paid your mortgage off, good for you (Tom), but you'll only get the $300K for the kids. 

Mom and Dad can have what they want.  Probably buy my Dad $100K worth of Snickers bars. 

The Kitten doesn't demand much.  Probably some sick jewelry.  No problem there.

I'd buy a three BR condo in DC....pied a terre.  Nice, comfy place. Garage parking.  Valet.  I'd mortgage the place, as cheap as money is these days....

Probably buy a place in the Caribbean.  Tasteful. Small. 

Gotta pay Kitten tuitions, not cheap.

But in reality, I live a pretty good life already, I can't possibly eat more than I do, and outside of maybe buying this little beauty, I don't think there'd be a lot of conspicuous consumption.   I'd probably hire a personal trainer to get my fat ass in shape.  I'd get a massage every week.  Maybe gussy up the ManCave.

Clearly I'd stop working (for money)--but I would still be busy.  I'd go to Thinktanks and just take it all in. I'd ask a lot of inconvenient questions.  I'd hire someone to get me really goosed up on Maryland issues.  Really goosed up.  Maybe run against this abomination.   Be a big wheel in the next Presidential Campaign.  Write and think every day.  Maybe even write a book.

Mike--the guy who works the shitshift at Dunkin' Donuts, the guy who gives me my 0545 coffee  with a huge smile and a pleasant hello--pulling down a 3.6 in accounting at Salisbury U-- get him off to a good start when he graduates.  Hard working SOB.

My boy Tim--well, he won't write a tuition check.

Other than that, we're looking at that $150M growing to nearly $300M in ten years.  Stay tuned.

Why Men Don't Understand Women, Part 173*

**Not audibly safe for work.

Give this little ditty a listen, and try not to shake your head in knowing pain.

They Get It!

This has been a wild two weeks. First Benghazi comes to a head (sorta), then we get the AP scandal with the old media sounding like a cheated on woman in denial (Not MY MAN!) and now potentially the most dangerous of all for the administration, the IRS scandal. But I'm still not convinced the media will do it's job, they adore this guy! For them he's JFK, MLK, Nelson Mandela and Gandhi all rolled into one. They may feel jilted, but trust me, they will find a way to blame underlings or perhaps sequester cuts brought on by Republicans and they'll even try to brass their way through. In fact, it's already started.

Jeffrey Toobin gives us a taste of this method (WARNING: only to be used with a fawning, compliant media) with this opening line for a piece in the New Yorker "Washington's scandal machinery, rusty from recent disuse, is cranking back up to speed due to the alleged targeting of conservative groups by the IRS". The IRS has already admitted to the illegal targeting but he says "alleged". He goes on to ask "Did the IRS actually do anything wrong?" According to Toobin the real problem is our campaign laws and 501(c) organizations which are overwhelmingly Republican, and asks us to believe that Democrats would probably do the same thing but "...they lacked the Republican base for funding..." WOW! Hold the phone, I think we got a live one on the other end!

The thing is Benghazi is a confusing mess, and although it may get some traction with guys like us who are big into politics, it will not hurt the Democrats or Obama. It might be a negative for Hillary, but it can be overcome. The AP scandal is much the same thing. Was it wrong and illegal and should heads roll for AG Holder on down? Hell yes! Will it happen? Hell No! But the IRS scandal, now there's one the American people can sink their teeth into. They understand the IRS. That's where their money goes. Most Americans couldn't find Benghazi on a map with a gun to their head, and AP...who's that? But with the IRS, they get that one.

So we'll see how it plays out, but don't in a million years expect the media to do its job. Not gonna happen.

Glee

   Is it wrong to immensely enjoy the press corps waking from their slumber to hammer O, Jay Carney and Eric Holder?

   Because this is really something to behold.

A Tribute

      Happy Mothers Day to my wonderful Mom.  She will not read this, of course, because she doesn't understand the need for computers.  She doesn't spend much time in the room where Dad has the computer, though she occasionally goes in there to use the phone...the rotary phone.   Since they're out of town today, I'll be unable to call and wish her a Happy Mothers Day, because while she owns a cell phone, she doesn't ever answer it because she finds it confusing.

     Technology is hard.

     But my mom rocks.

A Tale of Two Athletes

      I'm a little late to this story, but I'm just now getting around to sorting through the stack of magazines that have arrived the last two weeks.  Among them were a couple of Sports Illustrateds, which I generally look forward to reading (it has some great writing).  The cover of the May 6 issue featured an 'Exclusive...The Gay Athlete.'  Inside, the reader was treated to a six-page essay on the journey of Jason Collins, the recently-out NBA player, followed by another five-page essay on 'what this means.'    Collins received a bizarre amount of attention for his act.  And a really weird phone call from the President, who called to thank him (what exactly he's thanking him for is unclear, and seems approximately as appropriate as his call to Sandra Fluke).
   
     I find this story ridiculous not because some dude in the NBA is gay.  Indeed, he may be one of the few among his brethren who will not father seven children by seven different women.  Collins shouldn't be criticized, but he certainly shouldn't be celebrated.  Isn't making a fuss about this an unusual response to a situation that is now supposed to be one of acceptance in our great effort to coexist?  Have we learned nothing from the bumper sticker??
   
    And let's just take a moment here and contrast the treatment of Collins with the treatment of Tim Tebow.  His avowals of faith may not be for everyone, I get that.  But Tebow is treated with nearly universal derision.  Isn't his behavior at least as exemplary as Collins' behavior?  Wouldn't a phone call from the President thanking him for the example he sets as a Christian be just as reasonable as a phone call to Jason Collins?