Cercle Sans Soleil

"This tree sure looks familiar..."
- Mudge to Mudge's Self 9:30pm, in woods, 10 yards from starting point of hike back to truck 90 minutes earlier

A German researcher has studied the physiology of why so many hikers, hunters, English knights seeking shrubberies, etc tend to walk in circles when deprived of navigational references (either geographical or astronomical).

I used to do a lot of back country hiking when I was young and fit. But I always made certain to have my campsite established, food prepared and eaten and food bags properly hanging before sunset so, short of an occasional quick midnight trek to a makeshift latrine far enough but never too far from my tent, I never hiked at night. Nevertheless, this little article hit home after the one occasion where I was caught in the woods, on a very dark night, with no light and no compass and absolutely no references but trees and what must be the most fertile crop of greenbriar this side of the Mississippi (they call greenbriar "one way bushes" here because they let you in but not out...at least not before rendering you a pint low on blood).

I had parked my truck along the edge of the woods at about 4 pm, to go deer hunting and walked into the woods to a nice leaf-covered beech grove just about 100 yards into the woods. There was a little ridge against which I could lay down and put my gun up on the edge, masking my body from view. The air was fresh and crisp, the ground soft and inviting. I picked out the probable approach for a deer, rechecked my safety and....

..."What the...where am I? Who turned out the lights?" My 4 hour commute late the night before had apparently caught up with me 3.8 seconds after laying down and it was now a good 3 1/2 hours later and well into darkness. "Well, THAT was one heck of a hunt. No problem," I chuckled to myself, "the truck is just 100 yards right behind me and I'll come to the road even if I'm a little off course."

It occurred to me that my wife was probably thinking that I had a hunting accident and were she not so preoccupied looking for my life insurance policy, might have actually been worried. Nevertheless, I would be home soon and have a good laugh about how I'm not quite as young as I once was (stupid statement, nothing is as young as it once was). "I'll be out of here in about 3 minutes and home in about 10 minutes and have some of that venison chili I made last night. Mmmm. I can almost smell it." As I dodged this tree and that, untangled myself from several one way bushes and even reset my heart rhythm after jumping three deer at close quarters (why doesn't that ever happen when I'm able to see?), I was certain that road was just steps away.

Now this stand of woods I was in was bounded on all four sides by dirt roads so I knew that I would eventually walk out to a road and easily find my way back to my truck. However, as I started to appreciate Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness much more than the Cliff's Notes version allowed, I realized that I must be walking in circles. It was almost impossible to walk as long as I had been walking and NOT happen upon a dirt road. Realizing this, I forced myself to walk as straight as I could. I locked on to the farthest tree I could see and would walk a straight line to it. I would then go around the tree and repeat this method. At the very least, I would likely open the diameter of the circle and perhaps the arc would intercept a tangential dirt road.

Alas, it worked. I emerged from the woods about 50 yards down the road (walking nearly parallel to it I might add) from my truck and survived to eventually write overly long and not terribly pertinent prose on an up-and-coming mainstay of the conservative blogging world. The lesson here is this, when you find yourself lost (oxymoron?) in the woods at night, having just awakened, roll over and go back to sleep until the sun comes up. Who knows, you may even get a great shot at that deer who just finished doing circles all night.