Robert Thorn's Predictions for 2010

- We get the second dip of our recession. Commercial real estate will lead the way.
- The Bokanovsky process will be perfected.
- A new show called "Oww! My Balls!!" will debut, beginning its run as the most popular entertainment of the next three decades.
- The Crimson Tide will win the BCS Championship, but later be stripped of that title due to some sort of rules violation.
- Congress will pass a law forgiving all student debt incurred in pursuit of graduate and undergraduate studies between 2008 - 2012.
- The pop/R&B group Black Eyed Peas, Irish singer-songwriter Damien Rice, and actor-cum-musician, Kevin Bacon will kick off their annual January 1st musical collaboration with a concert to raise awareness for world hunger. The collaboration will be called Hopping John.
- Trojan Condoms will announce their new line of prophylactics called Tiger Woods.
- By the Fall, Asif Zardari will no longer be president of Pakistan.
- The Department of Energy and the Department of Health and Human Services will issue the results of a joint study that will find the largest impact to our nation's carbon emissions is the increased work required of all manner of conveyances due to Corpulent-Americans.
- We will discover and thwart a plan by terrorists eunuchs to detonate explosive faux-testicles at various targets.
- Congress will pass a law adding Corpulent-Americans as a protected class. Government contractors will rush to add persons of said distinction to their ownership or take credit for those already in their ranks.
- CW will fall just shy of his sub 150 goal due to his addiction to blue crabs.