I write this in the early morning silence of the vacation house, not a creature stirring but me and the last mosquitos of the night. Some time during the night we lost power, and it has yet to return. The house is warming up quite nicely, and if we don't get some power/ceiling fans going soon its going to be an oven....
It's been said that we eventually all become our parents. I think in my case, it is mainly true. I have become a "towel Nazi", and even as I bellow about towels to the Kitten and Kittens, I have an out of body experience as if I were a little boy listening to my father speaking through me. When I was that little boy, I could never understand why he got so worked up about things I felt were so unimportant. Well--now that I'm an adult--I get worked up over very similar things.
Our house has four master bedrooms, each similarly appointed, each with a private bath. We are occupying two of the four, as neither Kitten wishes to be separated from their mother--and so they share a bed in the other upstairs room. In each of these private baths are an equal number of bath towels--probably four, and two additional beach towels. I know my Kittens--I know them well. If left to themselves, they would use a fresh towel of whatever variety every time they got out of the pool or out of the shower--and then basically leave it where it was used, presumably for the hired help (me) to pick it up. That is of course, if they remembered to have a towel nearby before they hopped into the pool, which is never a good bet to begin with. Again, there's always the hired help (me) to get them a towel.
I tried to institute a towel use regime into this gathering, but to no avail. I decreed that towels would be hung to dry after being used, and that we would each use one towel a day. This decree has been entirely ineffective (natch). As I write, I am peering into the bathroom used by the Kittens as two wet, rolled up towels grace the floor. The interesting thing though, is that when I conduct one of these little towel lectures, it is as if Jimmy Wires--my sainted father--were speaking THROUGH me. NOW I know what used to get him so riled up when we were kids! It was the knowledge then--just as I have now--that if left to themselves the kids would burn through every towel in the house in two days (they get in and out of the pool several times a day) and then whine about not having a fresh towel to use. But--you say--CW, you are on VACATION! Take a chill pill! This is in fact, what the Kitten tells me. And you--and she--are right. I have decided that I will make my towel decree extend only to me, and that the rest of them can be little towel piggies to their hearts' content. I will attempt to expend no additional spiritual energy on this subject.
Well, the phone just rang--it was the manager of the house we're staying in, telling me that the loss of power is an "island problem" and not just a house problem. Is that good news?
Jeez Louise you're one neurotic so and so. Look Sport, take the laissez-faire approach and let the towel situation sort itself out. Then... guess what? You can actually enjoy your vacation and not be a pain in the ass for everybody else.
ReplyDeleteNow shut up and go grab me a towel!
From vacation in a luxurious St John bungalow:
ReplyDelete"I tried to institute a towel use regime"
Do you listen to yourself?
Thank God those kittens aren't going through potty training with you.
Hammer, love your last line.
I like the line after that one.
ReplyDeleteI liked your mother's jugs before you came along.
ReplyDeleteWe now await Double G's next animated feature.
ReplyDeleteI channel "Dr. John" daily, in thought or speech. The location of my tools (kids), my car keys (wife), or "Look at this Jackass up here..." to most of the drivers that surround me. A sign of ageing.
ReplyDeleteDo you have anything against wire hangers?
ReplyDeleteMudge--knowing me as you do, and knowing that I carefully choose my words for this blog--can you possibly imagine that I chose exactly the phrase you raised in order to raise just such a reaction? Let's face it--I don't HAVE to bring up the less worthy, or noble, or social aspects of my personality. I do it here, and write about them as a I do--specifically to make fun of.....me. And to entertain....you. So yes--I do listen to myself.
ReplyDeleteWell it must be said, you are entertaining. But you must admit, you do have that military mindset; take care of every detail no matter how minute, even if it's kiddies and towels.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing about people, we really don't see how crazy we are until someone points it out to us.