Thursday, May 16, 2013

Powerballin'

I read today where my lump sum winnings from this coming Saturday's Powerball drawing will be $304M (out of $475M--though this pot will grow, assuredly).  Very few pursuits in my life summon up the strategic thinker and planner in me as strongly as a two-hour drive to DC whilst pondering my approach to sudden, unspeakable wealth.

CW, as of this Saturday
I thought really hard about this.  Essentially I walk away with $150M.  I'd have to spend nearly $10M a year to NOT make money (5% rate of return). 

I added up how things would change.  First year, roughly $3M goes out to pay off family mortgages and and set up college funds for nieces and nephews.  I figure $150K per kid.  If you've paid your mortgage off, good for you (Tom), but you'll only get the $300K for the kids. 

Mom and Dad can have what they want.  Probably buy my Dad $100K worth of Snickers bars. 

The Kitten doesn't demand much.  Probably some sick jewelry.  No problem there.

I'd buy a three BR condo in DC....pied a terre.  Nice, comfy place. Garage parking.  Valet.  I'd mortgage the place, as cheap as money is these days....

Probably buy a place in the Caribbean.  Tasteful. Small. 

Gotta pay Kitten tuitions, not cheap.

But in reality, I live a pretty good life already, I can't possibly eat more than I do, and outside of maybe buying this little beauty, I don't think there'd be a lot of conspicuous consumption.   I'd probably hire a personal trainer to get my fat ass in shape.  I'd get a massage every week.  Maybe gussy up the ManCave.

Clearly I'd stop working (for money)--but I would still be busy.  I'd go to Thinktanks and just take it all in. I'd ask a lot of inconvenient questions.  I'd hire someone to get me really goosed up on Maryland issues.  Really goosed up.  Maybe run against this abomination.   Be a big wheel in the next Presidential Campaign.  Write and think every day.  Maybe even write a book.

Mike--the guy who works the shitshift at Dunkin' Donuts, the guy who gives me my 0545 coffee  with a huge smile and a pleasant hello--pulling down a 3.6 in accounting at Salisbury U-- get him off to a good start when he graduates.  Hard working SOB.

My boy Tim--well, he won't write a tuition check.

Other than that, we're looking at that $150M growing to nearly $300M in ten years.  Stay tuned.









6 comments:

  1. Odd. No mention of finally paying your blogger staff their back pay. Typical fat cat republican living large off the backs of laborers.

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  2. My thought exactly Mudge. What an ungrateful swine!

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  3. Tom de PlumeMay 17, 2013

    Wow. You even dream cheap.

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  4. AnonymousMay 18, 2013

    Just who is your boy Tim?

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  5. Tim would be my work colleague. The smartest, hardest working, most humble guy I know.

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  6. AnonymousMay 18, 2013

    I thought the smartest, hardest working, most humble guy you knew was your father.

    ReplyDelete