Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

The email informing me that he was dying came yesterday from his wife. She has been assiduous in keeping his considerable group of concerned friends informed as to the progress of the cancer--which if memory serves, was only diagnosed in the days before Thanksgiving. Weeks later, doctors are preparing her (and us) for the worst. If he does die, his loss at such a young age will be inexplicable and cosmically unjust. He is -- as I put it in a message to another friend this morning -- a lovely man. Brilliant, handsome, compassionate, friendly, collegial.

He and I have never been aligned politically. There have been times where I have judged him for his misguided domestic policy preferences. There is a bit of a social justice warrior in him, but I suppose if we must have them, I prefer that they be him. But a warrior he is, nevertheless, and while we are divided on many domestic issues, we are of a like mind with regard to American strength and the importance of American leadership in this troubled world. After the election in November, we met several times to discuss how we might collaborate in order to see that our common principles would not perish. I hope and pray that we will be able to move forward on those discussions.

I follow him on Facebook and delight in the beauty of his young family and their activities. There is a very small boy who seems always to be smiling. There is a daughter who seems to luxuriate in the love of her father, with the two of them providing me with a sense of just how much I missed in meeting my daughters later in their lives.

My last thought before sleep last night was of this best of men, and of his family. I long ago ceased to argue with God about His decisions, as the realization that I cannot know His mind finally won out against my own ego. But like a good Executive Officer, my job is to make sure He knows my views before that decision comes. And so I made them plain. Let this man live, God, please let him live.