Thursday, August 14, 2008

I Love TSA...ok, so I'm Lying

So I'm going through the security stuff at BWI today, and as usual, I (and my titanium right hip) set of the detector. As usual, I was ushered forward into the protective glass booth to await the "male assist". Usually, one is then ushered to another area for the inspection and pat-down, after the "male assist"-er picks up your carry on belongings from the conveyor. Here though, the inspection went down in the glass both where one usually just waits (it was a little roomier than the standard). The TSA official asked me to identify my bags on the conveyor, which I did.

He then proceeded to inspect me while bags from other passengers pushed mine further and further out of view, finally to the point where they reached the end of the table...and then went crashing 3.5 feet to the ground, as there was no one there to watch this and no raised lip on the table.

I was livid. I said to the inspector, "Why did that just happen? Why was no one watching? I am required to stay here in this booth and no one brought my luggage to me, so what measures to you have in place to see that this does not happen?" Just at this point another TSA agent came strolling by--large, female, spends too much time in the salon--and she instructed me that it was not their job to watch my stuff on the conveyor, it was mine. At which point I asked what would have happened if I up and bolted from my inspection to save my computer...would that not have caused an alarming security situation? She said it might, but that's not their job and you can talk to the supervisor about it.

Which I did. He was sympathetic, but clueless. The computer works, the system doesn't.

5 comments:

  1. This is what happens when we are more focused on looking for weapons (which could include everything from AK-47s to a bottle of perfume) than terrorists. TSA sux.

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  2. No, this is what happens when we let the democrats talk us into federalizing the TSA instead of contracting them. Although I wasn't there with you, CW, it may be that you mistook (for cluelessness) the supervisor's knowledge that there is virtually nothing he can do when his people screw up (I dare you to try to fire one of them and you better get a lawyer if the employee is a minority). I've known some spectacular government employees in my time, but I remain astounded at the ever-burgeoning and omnipowerful infrastructure within the government that serves absolutely no purpose but to keep the unwilling and the incapable guaranteed of receiving their government paychecks...no matter what they do (i.e. nothing) or don't do (i.e. work). I have no desire to go work in the government...unless we post a job entitled "federal firer". I could keep busy 24/7/365 cleaning our federal house for the first year. The tongue-in-cheek retort to the oft-asked question "How many people work in the Pentagon?" would be funnier if there weren't so many people doing their level best to make it true. For the unfamiliar, the answer is "about half of them."

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  3. Awesome rant! I heard a story from a future co-worker recently. He was returning from a trip and got upgraded to business class. He came to find out he was sitting next to a woman whose job it was at TSA to inspect and oversee the airport security operations. He took the opportunity to laud the speed and efficiency of the operation at an airport (I can't remember which one) that he had recently used, and he could see a strange look on her face as he told her. Turns out that the place he sighted was one of the airports in which TSA DOES contract out this service...just goes to show ya!

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  4. The only difference between most TSA workers and the security dude watching the parking lot at your local Wal-Mart is who issued the credentials.

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  5. I fear you are right, Royal Savage (great handle).

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