Hammerstophanes, The Football Philosopher: Week 6

What a week! If you're like most middle-aged men and late Saturday night consists of switching back and forth between Coed Confidential and whatever college football game interests you in a mad race to finish your cheap bottle of scotch before passing out drunk in your Lazyboy™, then do I have a surprise for you! A not very good NC State pulled off the upset against a loaded FSU in Raleigh. WOW! But it's true. FSU just couldn't shake the pesky Pack and got nickel and dimed to death with the help of a little dodgy officiating. NCSU scored the winning touchdown 4th. and goal with 18 seconds on the clock. It wasn't that State was that good, it's just that FSU was that bad. Note to FSU Coach Jimbo Fisher; the game lasts 60 minutes.
In other league news (the ACC is what I'm referring to, the rest of you can piss off) VPI continues to look like crap having had their ass handed to them by the Heels in an all white Kenan Stadium (those were the days!). Tech went home with their Hokies between their legs after a shameful performance in front of the usual Carolina contingent of radical leftists, homosexuals and shockingly promiscuous coeds. And Coach Beamer has lost a ton of weight! What's up wid dat?
Number 3 LSU went down to The Swamp and took an ass-whipping off the Gators, Oregon keeps on a rollin', SC resoundingly proved to the Georgia Bulldogs that "you can't lick our Cocks" in Williams-Brice last evening and Northwestern reverted to form and had their 5-0 record marred by Penn State, so that's probably it for them. TCU got trashed by sleeper Iowa Hay Rake...eh, I mean State (farmers teaching farmers). WVU went to Austin and outscored Texas (when will these idiots learn(?), you gotta play a man-to-man face mask to face mask defense against a team like this).
All in all an exciting week with a good few upsets. Oh yeah, UVA lost again, this time to Duke! Looks like Virginny has problems, especially at quarterback. Have a good 'un.