Sunday, October 18, 2015

The Hammer's College Football Review: Week 7, Ventricular Arrhythmias Edition

So, sitting in my three thousand dollar leather lounge chair (with the matching ottoman), sipping on a 15 year old Macallan single malt scotch, waiting for the Michigan/Mich St. game to conclude so they can put on the LSU/Flawda game (which was cooking!)...and, well the rest is history. What can I say, tough day in Ann Arbor. Big Blue played well enough to win, and should have won, but shit happens. These are kids and college kids screw up. Plus, it's just a game. This ain't your buddy stepping on a mine in a rice paddy or catching an IUD in Iraq. This is supposed to be fun even when your team screws the pooch. This was a GREAT game with a GREAT finish played by two GREAT teams. It was football porn! Just relax and enjoy it.

Ok, on to further action. Let's go ahead and get this one out of the way, CW's Wahoos played a helluva game yesterday finally putting away a stubborn Syracuse squad in 3 overtimes. I saw not one second of this game but reading the box score it looks like it was a barnburner. UVA scored 10 points in the 4th quarter and hung in during extra time. Looks like they showed a little toughness (for a change). Anyway, well done CW. Shame you weren't at the game being as THEY FINALLY WON ONE! 

While we're on the subject in other ACC action Clemson kicked BC ass in Death Valley remaining undefeated just like FSU which outmanned Lewisville in Doak Campbell. Can't wait for that matchup (11/7). The winner could, might, possibly be in the playoff (hey, it's POSSIBLE!). 
Ga. Tech has been a disappointment at 2-5 and no league wins, the Big East bastard child Pitt is looking good with one loss and Carolina is 5-1 with their only loss being South Carolina first game. I'll bet they wish they had that one back. 

Speaking of South Carolina the "Old Ball Coach" Steve Spurrier hung it up this week. I think he just had had enough. This year's team sucked and the prospect of rebuilding was just too much to contemplate. He got the Cocks competitive but he never could get 'em over the hump. The whole Spurrier South Carolina thing never did make a lot of sense anyway. Why? He had a good thing going in Gainesville. Good location, a top tier football school, he's a Florida guy through and through (Heisman 1966) so just WTF was he doing in Columbia, South Carolina? 

Ok let's move on. #18 UCLA is about to be #41 UCLA losing to #15 Stanford, which seems to be the cream of the West. Houston is undefeated and moving up, they killed Tulane which of course don't mean shit. Ohio State is still winning but that two quarterback thing rarely works. They've got Michigan State in the Shoe and Michigan in the Big House their last two games so we'll see. Utah is still rolling, LSU got past Flawda at home with a nice trick play and Ole Miss lost to Memphis (Good Grief!). Iowa is looking REAL good, they thumped Northwestern 40-10. Baylor and TCU are rolling along.  

In Ivy action (I know, I know, stop laughing) the undefeated Princeton Tigers ruined their perfect record losing to the mighty Brown Bears (Bears uh? Never knew that) in that hotbed of college football Providence, Rhode Island (Why is it an "island"? It's not a island! Goddamn Yankees, whatta ya gonna do? What it is is a shit-hole thank you very much.). Anyway a guy named Johnny Pena (sounds like a Cuban lounge singer) scored with 57 seconds on the clock to pull out the win at Brown (of course) Stadium. Tough break Princeton. Dartmouth and Haaaarvard both currently undefeated top the league standings and Princeton gets Haaaarvard next week in Cambridge and Dartmouth (somewhere in New Hampshire) last game, you know, before it's all over and the bowl bids go out. Ha Haaaaaaaa! Just kidding. Those Ivy League pussies couldn't beat Fayetteville 71st High School on their best day, and I ain't even kidding. There it is.

Well that's all I got now hit the bricks, I'm sick of looking at you. 


TigerHawk said...

What? Iowa goes to 7-0 and beats its second ranked team away and nary a mention?

"The Hammer" said...

Dude are you always this, I don't know, spacey? I DID mention Iowa.
I sure as fuq hope you don't read your legal briefs this carelessly otherwise that "undocumented American" your represent, (you know the one charged with snuff porn and indecent liberties with a golden retriever) well he could be in real trouble.
But what am I thinking? He'll be voting Hillary next election.

TigerHawk said...

Yeah, I don't really read anything closely any more. Pile is too high. Fortunately, I have people.

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