Thursday, May 16, 2013


I read today where my lump sum winnings from this coming Saturday's Powerball drawing will be $304M (out of $475M--though this pot will grow, assuredly).  Very few pursuits in my life summon up the strategic thinker and planner in me as strongly as a two-hour drive to DC whilst pondering my approach to sudden, unspeakable wealth.

CW, as of this Saturday
I thought really hard about this.  Essentially I walk away with $150M.  I'd have to spend nearly $10M a year to NOT make money (5% rate of return). 

I added up how things would change.  First year, roughly $3M goes out to pay off family mortgages and and set up college funds for nieces and nephews.  I figure $150K per kid.  If you've paid your mortgage off, good for you (Tom), but you'll only get the $300K for the kids. 

Mom and Dad can have what they want.  Probably buy my Dad $100K worth of Snickers bars. 

The Kitten doesn't demand much.  Probably some sick jewelry.  No problem there.

I'd buy a three BR condo in DC....pied a terre.  Nice, comfy place. Garage parking.  Valet.  I'd mortgage the place, as cheap as money is these days....

Probably buy a place in the Caribbean.  Tasteful. Small. 

Gotta pay Kitten tuitions, not cheap.

But in reality, I live a pretty good life already, I can't possibly eat more than I do, and outside of maybe buying this little beauty, I don't think there'd be a lot of conspicuous consumption.   I'd probably hire a personal trainer to get my fat ass in shape.  I'd get a massage every week.  Maybe gussy up the ManCave.

Clearly I'd stop working (for money)--but I would still be busy.  I'd go to Thinktanks and just take it all in. I'd ask a lot of inconvenient questions.  I'd hire someone to get me really goosed up on Maryland issues.  Really goosed up.  Maybe run against this abomination.   Be a big wheel in the next Presidential Campaign.  Write and think every day.  Maybe even write a book.

Mike--the guy who works the shitshift at Dunkin' Donuts, the guy who gives me my 0545 coffee  with a huge smile and a pleasant hello--pulling down a 3.6 in accounting at Salisbury U-- get him off to a good start when he graduates.  Hard working SOB.

My boy Tim--well, he won't write a tuition check.

Other than that, we're looking at that $150M growing to nearly $300M in ten years.  Stay tuned.


Mudge said...

Odd. No mention of finally paying your blogger staff their back pay. Typical fat cat republican living large off the backs of laborers.

"The Hammer" said...

My thought exactly Mudge. What an ungrateful swine!

Tom de Plume said...

Wow. You even dream cheap.

Anonymous said...

Just who is your boy Tim?

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Tim would be my work colleague. The smartest, hardest working, most humble guy I know.

Anonymous said...

I thought the smartest, hardest working, most humble guy you knew was your father.

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