Friday, May 16, 2014

Big Fat Friday Free For All

What's on your mind, friend?  Anything bothering you?  Well, this is the place to express it!  Your afternoon attack on a toddler undermined by a particularly aggressive housecat?  Your dickhead older brother losing weight effortlessly while you remain a splendid tribute to endomorphy?

I weighed 189.6 today.  Way too fat.

Big brother will likely fill us all in on his progress below.


Tom de Plume said...


Rather than engage in name calling, allow me to provide some common sense weight loss advice bro.

First, I have never agreed with you more than when you note that your almost 190lb mass is way too fat. Hey, I was there only two months ago and it was even twenty or so pounds too much for my height. Of course at your Hobbitesque altitude, it is most surely as uncomfortable to waddle around with as it is to look at.

But along with your lack of willpower, it is also your diet that comes into question. Have you looked at the calorie counts or Chateaubriand, foie gras, caviar, and whatever else is on the menu at Easton Abbey? And those lunchtime trips to the Golden Corral that you make with the groundsmen and stable boys; think salad bar and not heaping plates of fried chicken. The hands are going back to work in the afternoon, not taking a nap in their mancave. They can do the fried foods, you can't.

And of course there is the issue of motivation. I can help you a lot with that one. Are you really looking forward to me taking you up on that open invitation to visit this summer, only to have the Kitten remark upon my departure, "Do you think if you worked out, you could look like your brother?"

But for the record, I am on the road this morning and have no access to the official weigh in scale.

The Conservative Wahoo said...

You sir, are a cur and a bounder.

TigerHawk said...

204 here, at least 20 pounds too fat. My theory is that it comes from eating and drinking more than I should.

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