Wednesday, February 10, 2010

On The Shoveling Of Snow

Kathleen Parker, our side's version of Maureen Dowd, has an editorial today which is really an Ode to Man and His Snow-shovel. It's a puffy little piece (as is this) , but it has at its core an essential truth--the act of shoveling snow is simply different than any other activity.

Ms. Parker grants that there are women who shovel snow, and I'm sure that they exist in nature--but I have never seen one. In fact, the sight of a woman shoveling snow is likely as rare as the sight of me doing ANY OTHER kind of manual labor....as wags elsewhere in this blog and my darling Kitten will attest.

But shoveling snow is DIFFERENT. The only activity with which I am familiar that comes EVEN CLOSE is cutting the grass--again, a primarily male pursuit. On days like today in which the snow is coming down steadily, almost my first thought of the day is "I need to shovel." It's biological, really, some kind of pre-programmed impulse to separate one's hearth and home from the wilds of field and forest. Clearing the walk, salting the steps, re-establishing a drive-way--these are the acts of a man defiantly standing up to nature saying "here I will make my stand--here on my (Kitten's) land!".

We have a fellow who cuts our grass and does other work around the farm. He's a shared treasure who works for at least one other homeowner on our little peninsula. Lew (not his name) does a ton of things for us, almost none of which I'd rather do myself--except cutting grass (I don't allow him to shovel snow--I have my pride). Lew owns a business with one of those way cool riding mowers you sit on with the two handles that move independently, cutting grass sort of the way those autonomous pool cleaners might move. When I drive up to the farm after a day of doing whatever it is I do over in DC and see him sitting atop his wondrous machine, finely manicuring our lawn in neat, repeatable patterns, I am envious. There--I think--is a man who can see the product of his labor. Instantly. He doesn't have to wait until the next Senate Defense Appropriations Bill to see if his "add" has appeared. He doesn't spend his time wondering whether the client was satisfied that the latest scribbling he's done "captures" the message he was seeking. No. He is instantly gratified. This is the beauty of cutting grass--and if our lawn weren't so big (and if I had one of those cool machines), I would displace him.

This is I suppose, also the beauty of shoveling snow. Its rewards are instantaneous. There are few feelings in nature as glorious as the sight of the red brick walkway revealed beneath a blanket of two feet of winter. Hard work you ask? Shoveling snow is an amazing calorie burner--and a fine barometer of one's overall fitness. How do I know? Well, I'm still sore from shoveling on Sunday.

As I write, we are assaulted by yet another instance of the ravages of global warming, and I find my thoughts turning from this blog and its attractions to the quiet order of the snow-shovel and the walkway. There, I will not be displaced.

12 comments:

BigFred said...

I insist my wife helps me shovel.

Mudge said...

"one of those way cool riding mowers you sit on with the two handles that move independently"

As I'm sure "Lew" the Lawn Guy would tell you (if you address him by his correct name), these are known as "zero turn" mowers.

We're going to countrify you yet.

Doc Milnamo said...

I can understand and fully-appreciate you saying, "There--I think--is a man who can see the product of his labor. Instantly."

Having had a summer job for the Roads Dept (interspersed with interludes in the baseball field grass cutting dept. and being a garbageman - more on this later) of the municipality we grew up in, I took great pride in seeing the fruits of my labor. We would start out "here" at 7:45AM (remember from 7:00AM - 7:30AM there were Pork Roll sammies to be eaten at Billington's General Store) and end our day "there" at 3:30PM or so. You could see this long, lovely, perfect in every way new coating of asphalt on an old road. I could say, "I did that, I helped, it was my work with the loot (asphalt-spreading rake) which made the seams, seamless so the two or more parallel passes of asphalt from the Barber-Greene asphalt-laying machine appeared as one monolithic piece of road."

In the years since then, I've had a few jobs even a 20-year career with IBM, but nothing I have ever done since that summer in high school has given me the job satisfaction I experienced back then.

Doc

Anonymous said...

We still on for bowling this Saturday night CW?

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Doc--perfectly said.

Anonymous--Bowling? Eww.

Lenny Oldman said...

My wife told me, "I want 10 inches and make it hurt".

So I made her shovel the driveway.

Sally said...

I think a good afternoon of raking gives you the same reward as shoveling. And like shoveling, a feeling of great well-being.

"The Hammer" said...

I know it's tough, staring out the window in quiet desperation thinking "when will it stop?". The snow, the ice, the bitter cold. One is reminded of Dante's ninth circle of Hell...The Deep Freeze!
Depression sets in. You snap at the wife. You drop kick the cat across the room. You hang your head in frustration thinking why me oh Lord, why me? You are on the brink of madness.
Now you know why all the best serial killers come from Wisconsin.

CCE said...

Real women shovel snow just like real men eat quiche.

PS - I asked for a leaf blower for Mother's Day.

The Conservative Wahoo said...

I KNEW you'd pipe up, CCE!

Dan said...

Riding a Zamboni and clearing a hockey rink gives you the same satisfaction.

Hammer, please keep your Wisconsin comments to yourself.

"The Hammer" said...

Come on Dan brother-man. I once spent a week in Eau Claire in February (I was holding a seminar at the University on bullfrog gigging). Man it was cold! Place is full of drunks, I loved it.

Newer Post Older Post Home