Monday, December 24, 2012

Gone But Not Forgotten

It's was Stalin's birthday a couple of days ago. I'm afraid I missed it in all the holiday hubbub. He was born 133 years ago. You know a lot of people think he was Russian, not true. He was Georgian (Soviet Georgia not Gone With the Wind Georgia). He lived by the rule "no man, no problem". Conservative estimates of Stalin's mass killings come in around 6-8 million. But if you add in the Ukrainian forced famine, the Great Purge (who needs those old Bolsheviks anyway?) the German POWs worked to death in the gulags, the Eastern Europeans murdered in NKVD massacres; well, the numbers really improve (upwards of 20 million). To show you what a cut-up Uncle Joe was, he got toasty one night at a party and the old lady started talking shit, as they tend to do in situations like this. So he went home and strangled her. What a cad! Hey, she shoulda seen it coming OK? It's not like she's married to Jozef the Plumber. Anyway, by my estimates he's responsible for about 200k death per year of his life. Guys, those are Hall of Fame numbers.

So, a tip of the hat and a Happy Birthday to Uncle Joe Stalin. You are missed, but our loss is Satan's gain.

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