Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Modest Proposal

Lots of talk recently about holding CEO's responsible and limiting executive bonuses in companies that take the taxpayer's money in an effort to right themselves. Seems like mostly everyone thinks its a fantastic idea, and President Obama liked it so much he wrote it into the stimulus bill. Not me.

My friend Thairish wrote me an email earlier today with an idea that takes this approach one step further, and I'm here to tell you, I like where he goes with it:

"I have decided that if the dems want government to control executive bonuses for companies now on the dole, I also want there to be government control of household finances that benefit from the largess that is about to flow. If one gets help with his mortgage, he cannot buy decorations, knicknacks, no lattes, no tv, no snacks, only the staples (unprocessed) listed in the food pyramid. no internet service, no cable."

Think about it; if Uncle Sugar covers your butt for the ridiculous mortgage you freely entered into, you're not allowed to pay for television, because you can get it free. You can't get satellite radio, 'cause there's plenty of free radio. You don't get to eat out. You don't get to buy name brand trainers for your children. You don't get high speed internet, you use dial-up through your phone. You are allowed to have one television, one refrigerator, and one car for each adult driver. You've got to give up smoking. Every single homeowner whose mortgage is re-written, guaranteed, re-upped or underwritten by the federal government will have to submit a budget, and will have to undergo twice yearly budget counseling sessions.

How bout them apples?

4 comments:

Mudge said...

Don't you heartless bastards get it? The wealthy producers are evil, those in credit trouble are victims. Never mind that they are the wealthiest proletariats ever to 'toil' on the planet.

I LOVE THAIRISH's PLAN

Anonymous said...

"Name brand trainers".

Is Madonna covering for the CW this morning?

Doc Milnamo said...

Yes, CW had to go out and buy a new jumper.

On a more serious note, I second Mudge's approval of Thairish's plan. But we all know it could never be. If something remotely like this was ever signed into law, activist judges and the ACLU would tie it up.

Anonymous said...

This is just where we're going with gov't health care. I'm a bit of an apocalyptic when it comes to that. I think it will give gov't inroads into what remains of the private domain. Indeed, the'll be able to tell you not to smoke, not to eat certain things, not to sit too close to the TV, not to spend too much time surfing the net (carpal tunnel sydrom, right?), and on and on. Big brother is just getting warmed up and Obama is going to make sure he sees the final act of this opera.

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