Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Random Ramblings From the Short Bus

Ladies and Gents what you see to the far left is raw, uncooked chicken wings straight from the bird. In the middle are cooked chicken wings and to the right HALF wings. If one enters just about any establishment that dispenses adult beverages along with le Grande Cuisine Americaine (bar food), why then are we given half of what we order? Has chicken anatomy changed? Has evolution reared its ugly head and through natural selection produced a bird with Hobbit wings? Or is genetic engineering the culprit, foisting an inferior wing on an unsuspecting public so as to satiate the ravenous greed of multi-national food conglomerates and fill their corporate coffers with the hard earned cash of the working class? This must change! A wing is a wing is a wing. If I order 10 wings then By Golly I expect 10 WINGS! So let's all stand up and be counted. Are you with me on this? Anybody? Did somebody say something in the back?

Ok, what's up with all this pink this and pink that in the NFL? Look, I'm all for breasts. Anything I can do to protect women's breasts, hey...count me in. But this shit has gone a little too far don't you think? Furthermore there are a ton, A TON of good charities out there, so why are women's breasts so "in your face"? Well it can only be politics. Again I'm not opposed to funding cancer research of any kind, and breast cancer is high on the list. But it ain't the only thing on the list. Men's prostate cancer occurs in roughly the same percentages but breast cancer is funded by the Feds at about 10 to 1. And if the NFL wants to raise awareness about something let them publicize knee and hip replacement, osteo-arthritis and head injury research. You know, something that actually applies to what they do. Charity starts at home and sorry ladies, ain't no women playing in the NFL. 

UNC is the Barack Obama of college athletics. They get away with murder over there in San Francisco East. But a long time associate is finally calling bullshit on the BlueBoys ...thank the heavens. A former tutor has called Ole Roy a "friggin' disgrace and a sorry excuse for a human being and a shit coach" (I paraphrase). The powers that be need to swoop down on the athletic department at Carolina and shut 'er down until we can get this mess cleaned up. Right now it's just gang bangers playing ball; with our tax dollars of course. 

1 comment:

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Where are the feathers? Damn it, I want my feathers too!

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