Congratulations Carolina! Now Quit the BS!

UNC breezed into Wallace Wade Thursday night and hung one on a stumbling Duke 45-20. It was a good win for Carolina, one in which I'm sure they used the current scandal to motivational advantage. As you are well aware Carolina has been experiencing some institutional improprieties that threaten the university's worldwide reputation for excellence along with their entire athletic program of course. Now if you know me you know I'm a compassionate, forgiving individual with a heart of gold, and I do feel somewhat bad for the current crop of Tar Heel players and coaches, after all they didn't do anything wrong (I would like to think anyway). But as an institution I'm afraid many of these people just don't get it.

There's a local blogger who goes by the name of Bob Lee. Now Bob is a fellow Tickbitian who went to the city and made good. He's a UNC grad (class of WTF knows, he's OLD), a conservative politically, a shit writer and a Grade A first class asshole. But he's well thought of and has a large cadre of fans who read his tripe regularly so what do I know? Anyway, he being a tapped in Tar Heel kinda guy got hold of an email to the UNC Athletic Director from some very prominent alums (many sit on the UNC Board of Governors) complaining...(wait for it)....not about the current academic scandal and the resulting fallout, no friends, they're upset about (I will quote Bob Lee directly):  "Amid this Historic Tumult in which this University community is dog-paddling to stay afloat, these privileged powerbrokers are insisting that Bubba Cunningham and Larry Fedora reorder their current priorities.   Bubba and Larry are, they contend, 'inflicting irreparable damage to the brand of Tar Heel Football' by tinkering with Kenan fashion tradition." 
What? Your worried about uniforms? WTF is going on here?

Sarge, I need a dentist. I just stepped on a land mine and my lower leg is probably about three blocks over but I've got a wicked case of gingivitis that needs attention.

So let's review, the school's reputation is perhaps "irreparably damaged", the drip drip drip of bad news has continued for three years running, the beloved and revered basketball problem is in peril, the accreditation people are all over their asses, they're getting sued left right and center, and the powers that be at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill are worried about God-damn uniforms? You couldn't invent this shit.

Big Fat Friday Free For All

Aw, what's the matter friend?  Your President decide that he isn't bound by that silly old Constitution?  Can't abide by all the Christmas decorations already?  Six feet of snow got you down?

Get it off your chest!  Out with the bad, in with the good!

Re-shaping Obamacare

I saw an article on Facebook this morning that gave two stories about the impact of Obamacare on DC area small business, one positive and one negative.  I posted it, and this comment:

"See, this is the thing. A "thriving insurance market for small businesses and individuals" is not the same thing as "Obamacare". We didn't need Obamacare to get the kind of coverage that the Whitfield's now enjoy. Except that no one--and I am talking to my Republican friends too--seemed terribly interested in making such a market happen through changes to existing regulation, etc. And so, in this monster that is Obamacare, there are people who are very, very happy with what the law has brought them, and they should be. Just the other day, the CEO of Uber talked about how the law has been a boon to his business, as the law's provisions for the purchase of insurance for individuals has helped create a ready market of drivers who are essentially, private contractors. While we Republicans are busy with our 2 yard-line dance (not quite in the end-zone) over Jonathan Gruber's revelations of the Obama team's legislative playbook, we need to realize that there is a not insignificant group of people who have benefited from this law. They need to be considered as we look to reform the healthcare system in positive ways. And we need to take responsibility for the fact that prior to January 2009, we simply did not care enough about this issue to get something done."

Now, I know that this may raise Mudge's hackles, but after Republicans go through the theater ONE TIME of "repealing" Obamacare--which will not be successful, they need to begin to make improvements to it that are in alignment with our values and that retain the parts of the law that are popular with a broad spectrum of Americans.  Here's how one comment on my Facebook post put it:

"As a Navy reserve officer, I've had access to insurance independent from my "main" employer for years. The freedom to switch jobs, go on orders, start a business or take time to take care of family while keeping the same insurance, rates, doctors and network is huge. The alternative is staying in a job you hate, paying huge COBRA fees (for a limited time) to maintain insurability if you have a pre-existing condition, and finding new doctors (if you can) for your new network."

We cannot forget that the 2008 Republican Presidential candidate DID in fact run on a platform that broke the connection between one's employment and insurance coverage.  This relic of WWII does not serve our increasingly labor-mobile economy at all.  Obamacare has provided just such a system, but the bad things about the bill kept Republicans from voting for any of the good things.  So let's move forward and begin changing the things that ought to be changed while we recognize the real hunger out there in our society for people to feel safely insured irrespective of their employment situation.  

The Hammer's College Football Review: Week 12 (Bob Devaney spinning in his grave edition)

Are people in Mini-soda badasses or what? Look at my man there. It's snowing like Stalingrad, probably about 17 degrees, a Bud Grant kind of weather day for sure and on the sidelines Coach is knocking back a pre-game Dove bar. That gentlemen is how you intimidate your opponents! Unfortunately for the Gophers they were playing Ohio State so it didn't turn out all that well, but I appreciate the gesture. Watching that game brought me back to the old Bloomington days of my youth with Joe Kapp and Alan Page and the flame-thrower turf de-icing contraptions thawing the painted "grass". Brother that was a home field advantage for sure. Those were the days!

Well...big news kids, #1 ain't #1 anymore. Missississippi State ran into Roll Tide in Tuscaloosa and did not, I repeat DID NOT look anything like #1. It was a pipe-dream anyway. No way Missississippi State is gonna go undefeated in the SEC...not a chance in hell! So, considering late losses count more than early losses it's safe to say the Bulldogs are done. That last game with Ole Miss doesn't look that important anymore.
Guess who's coming up though, that's right the other Bulldogs...Georgia. Todd Gurley is back from his Heisman killing suspension and looked ok, he did twist his knee late but he's fine I think. Anyway Georgia spanked a demoralized Auburn between the hedges. You know I've never been to Athens, Georgia, but they sure love their football down there.
LSU took the day off in Fayetteville 17-0. What the hell is that about? South Carolina put the last nail in Coach Muskrat's coffin and Misery got by Texas A&M.
Do you get the feeling college football, apart from a few notable exceptions is just all about SEC football? How else does one explain an undefeated national champion, on a 25 game undefeated streak, being ranked BEHIND a SEC team? Look I'm well aware the SEC plays the best football by far, and I certainly don't have a problem with a SEC team being on top, but they had the wrong team all along and most people know that. If they didn't they sure as hell know it now.

In ACC action (is that the right word "action"?) Duke hooked a field goal in the final seconds to lose to Va. Tech. UNC beat a sorry-ass Pitt and Clemson's quarterback got injured early and they fell apart against Ga. Tech. Hey man, WE WON ONE! That's right, the Wolfpack beat Wake Forest like we was their daddy. I'm PUMPED! FSU keeps playing with fire, starting off like shit and winning in the second half. These guys are good but man they're gonna get reamed sooner or later playing like that!

Let me ax you something? What do you think of when I say a hundred a quarter? I personally think of my retirement portfolio but in Wisconsin it means "Nebraska can't tackle". The Badger's Melvin Gordon (never heard of him either) put up 408 yards against a Cornhusker defense that must have thought this was tag football. Good Grief, is he that good or is Nebraska that bad?
Q: What is arguably the best defense in the history of college football? A: Bob Devaney's 1971 Nebraska squad (13-0). They had three shutouts that year, seven more where they allowed seven points or less and only one game where more than 17 points were scored, and that was against the 11-1 Greg Pruitt led Oklahoma Sooners 35-31 (often called the game of the century). All the while averaging about 40 points a game culminating in a 38 -6 win over Bear Bryant's #2 Alabama in the Orange Bowl. If you happen to be from Nebraska you may throw up now.

So, where are we in terms of final four? You'd have to put in Ohio State just based on tv, politics etc., Flawda State of course unless they screw up, which doesn't appear likely. I don't know who's coming out of the SEC but the best team right now is without a doubt Alabama. Then who knows, TCU, Oregon, Baylor, it's hard to say. If I had to guess I'd say Oregon, again based on tv, politics etc.

We'll see, but we're coming up on rivalry week with is like a last football-gasm and a chance for losers to redeem themselves. I'm looking forward to State-Carolina this year. We both suck BADLY so it's a toss-up.

That's all I got, now you can turn on Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long and listen to their scripted bullshit, fake laughs and rehearsed ad libs. C-ya.

Reagan National Defense Forum Day 2

Forgive me if this reads rushed, as I am trying to get it down before the battery expires, having forgotten to bring its charger, the mouse and the mouse pad in my haste two mornings ago

A full day yesterday at the Reagan Library began early with a quick 15 minute drive from my hotel.  First though, I had to caffeinate, which meant a little trip around Westlake looking for the coffee shop indicated on Yelp.  This place (Westlake) is designed much like Reston, for those familiar with that place in Northern Virginia.  Lots of hills and embankments, behind which hide the nasty, dirty, places of commerce which in other places, sit proudly streetside.  So ferreting out the shop was no easy task, but success was earned and a four shot latte was the prize.

After a quick drive to the Library, I parked and hopped into line with the well-heeled Republican-looking bunch also obsessed with arriving places early.  I nosed around the open space of the Library for a bit, reacquainting myself with the memories I made a year earlier, and then proceeded down to the first floor for the breakfast session.  I sat at a table near the stairs down from the main entrance, a propitious decision as I was able to greet friends and colleagues as they descended.  Many of the folks I worked with on the Romney Campaign were here, and a good number of other folks I work with in the DC Vast Right Wing Conspiracy also attended.  I sat with a good friend who does many of the same things I do for a living, and consumed a Nerf Football sized breakfast burrito that was brought to me.  As I ate, a kindly woman sat down next to me and said, "good morning, I'm Kay Granger."  Representative Granger was a delight to talk with, and we covered a number of subjects including her recent re-election, her work as Vice Chair of the Defense Appropriations Committee, and her obvious joy at the success of the Republican Party ten days ago.

For the rest of the day, I attended the sessions that were in the agenda I posted yesterday.  Two really stood out--the first was a panel of Wall Street types--bankers, investors, and private equity men--who gave their views of the defense space.  I find Wall Street fascinating, and I have always been a little envious of those who have positioned themselves to make money based on their knowledge and experience.  The second panel to recount was the penultimate of the day, and it was powerful.  Bush II National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley, Leon Panetta, Bob Gates, DHS Secretary Jeh Johnson, and Senator John McCain, with a moderator for NBS News.  A couple of take aways.

Panetta and Gates pull no punches in their disappointment in Barack Obama (obviously, something this crowd was all too happy to hear), which is something one would expect to hear from McCain (and we did), but is still somewhat jarring when it comes from two men who served as Obama's Defense Secretary.  Both Gates and Panetta have written books, and both have received criticism for their criticism of the President--primarily from those who would have them wait until the President's term is over before opening fire.  Secretary Jeh Johnson was somewhat of a tethered goat in the affair, as a serving cabinet officer in the Obama Administration and having been both men's top lawyer at Defense during their terms.  I had thought the comments would have made the news today, but my brief scan finds no mention.

The second thing I found interesting was Stephen Hadley's descriptions of his interaction with George W. Bush.  You know I have great esteem for GWB, but it was only increased by Hadley's views.  There was great wisdom and conscience at work in that man, and I continue to believe historians will treat his Presidency with more respect than the press has.

The final speaker of the day was Secretary of Defense Hagel who continues to underwhelm, and who gave a speech that appeared to have been alien to him before he stood up to read it.  Many times during delivery, it sounded as if he reached the end of a line, or a page, and paused oddly mid-sentence.

After the day ended, I joined some friends at a local watering hole for a bit and then headed back to the hotel to watch back episodes of Once Upon a Time.  Because that's how I roll.  I need to leave for the airport in just over an hour, which is just over an hour away.  I have a couple of books with me including GWB's new book on his father.

All in all, a great trip.  Next year's version of this affair will be dominated by election issues, and I look forward with great anticipation to it.

On The Road Again: Reagan National Defense Forum

Many thanks to The Hammer for stepping up yesterday to fill the gaping hole in our lives left by my failure to post a BFFFFA.  I must say, his choice of photo was stunning.  I find myself at computer greeting the morning here in Westlake Village, CA, dashing off this quick post before performing my toilette and then heading to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library for the Reagan National Defense Forum.  Here's the lineup of events for the day, and then many of the Romney Defense Policy Committee folks will reunite to raise a cup of cheer, and another of schadenfreude.

The creators of this gathering want it to grown into something of a Defense Davos, where all the biggies will come for a day or so of conversation, elbow rubbing, and bowing and scraping.  They've done an able job in the two years the Forum has existed in getting a great bill of fare, and I would like to see it grow into exactly what they seek.  For now, it is the premier gathering of right of center defense policy types, and it is a must do on my calendar.

Sometime late Wednesday, I realized that I had boxed myself in preparation-wise, for this trip.  I was about to get to bed when I realized that I would have to get up at 0500 and be on my way to DC on Thursday, and that I would not get home until after 2200 on Thursday evening (teaching).  Then I would have to get up again at 0500 on Friday to get to Dulles for my flight to LA.  I had not packed.  I had not prepared.  I had in fact, done nothing.  So when I arrived home on Thursday evening, a good deal of scurrying about went on to get ready for what was admittedly, a pretty quick trip back and forth to California.

So I packed Thursday night.  Pretty easy kill.  But I had a few things to do on my computer still before leaving the next morning, so I hustled through the routine Friday morning and got myself into the mancave to download hotel, rental car, information.  And of course, my receipt/ticket for the Forum itself.  Which I could not find.  I usually cut/paste such thing into my outlook calendar for the associated event,but none was there.  I was distraught.  So I went to the event website to see if I could sign up still, thinking that it was entirely possible that I had not even signed up, that I was so far ahead of the curve in early August when I made my flight reservation, that perhaps registration had not even been open yet.  Of course, the sign up link on the site had been disabled.

All the while, the clock is ticking, I have a hundred and four miles to drive to Dulles during rush hour, and I am already a bit of a Time Nazi.  I eventually ran across the electronic receipt for the Forum in my "expenses" file, got on the road, got into a bit of traffic on the north side of the beltway, but made it to the airport in time to grab a sandwich for the flight.

Of note, I believe my bitching about the lack of an X-ray scanner at the TSA Pre line last flight appears to have been successful, as there it was, a functioning AIT machine when I approached the line.  I took to Twitter shortly after making it through security to pass props to the TSA Twitter Minder who responded to my omnidirectional bitches a few weeks ago.  He seemed delighted to be publicly praised on The Twitter, and took great pride in his accomplishment.  Who says government can't do anything right?  Well, me for one, Usually.

I arrived at LAX, which fifty years ago must have looked good, but which now (like JFK) is an eyesore.  I had about a sixty mile drive from LAX in my rental (Hertz, Stall 281) and so enjoyed the Southern California freeway view for a while.  I said it last year when I wrote from here--you could easily be in Israel or Spain, or some other Mediterranean landscape, as you drive through SoCal.  I really like it, quite a bit.  I like driving by roadsigns that mark places of significance in our pop culture, though I have no intention of seeing what lies upon those roads.

Got to the Hotel at about 1430 after stopping by a hole in the wall Chinese joint nearby, one I discovered my last trip here.  I need to remember next time that the dumplings were substandard.  Checked in with plenty of time before my 1600 massage (wasn't too time compressed to schedule that---priorities, friend.  Priorities.) so I had a nap.  The massage was good, excellent head and neck work, and I emerged from the little treatment room with a steely determination to continue to loaf the rest of the day, passing up little platoons of right wingers gathering for dinner and conviviality in favor of a steak and a bottle of fizzy water in my room.  I grow more introverted as I age, something that likely will deal my political aspirations the death blow.  The attraction, of a quick bite, a chat with the Kitten, and then blessed snoozing beginning at 2100 was gravitational, especially since I knew that my internal clock would mess me up today (first wake up at 0330, though I did snooze until 0500).

Looking forward to a good day of red meat defense chat, a good bit of back slapping over the recent election, and of course, thoroughly irresponsible postulating about the 2016 Presidential Race.  Should anything be of interest to you, dear reader, I will let you know.

The Icing on the Cake

Has this been a great election or what? First we drub the Democrats like it's 1984 and then we get to watch Mary Landrieu swing in the wind for another month or so. There she is in a panic, languishing in her purgatorial world of eroding power with the only outcome being humiliation and ignominy. 

It's obvious this job gave her life purpose and meaning. Being Senator for her wasn't a means to an end, it was the end. She came from money, a good family, the best of everything, but what did she accomplish? Apart from politics not much. But she was not just a good team player, she was the BEST team player! No better Senator for the Democratic Party than Mary Landrieu! Her home in DC (she uses her parent's old La. homestead as her home of record - co-owned by her and her seven siblings) is fundraising central for the Dems. During campaign season not a week goes by without some function or another taking place at her "townhouse" (townhouse in this context being a multi-million dollar 7400 sq ft mansion). Yes indeed, she has been the Washington Democratic establishment's best friend.

Which makes it all the more heartbreaking that Chuck and Harry have abandoned her in HER hour of need. Yes friends, the Dems have decided Mary is not a good investment any longer. They tried, nobody can say they didn't, but it makes no sense to throw good money after bad...and Mary Landrieu is soooo over. Sorry but if you want a friend in Washington.... See you at Marti Gras Mary, can you put me and the wife up for a few days?

What did you expect Mary? You last faced the voters in 2008. You have done NOTHING to protect Louisiana jobs or the all important oil and gas industry there. You have been a Senator for the Democratic Party NOT your constituents. Hell even James Carville bitches about you, sometimes openly! You lost your way Mary, you became a Washington animal with nothing in common with the people of your State. You're voting record reflects Dick Durban's priorities, not Duck Dynasty's.

What the hell, don't worry about it, it happens. But it happens far too often so forgive us if we relish in your desperation, you deserve every bit of your anguish. YOU didn't lose your home or a paying job you actually needed! YOU can go home (or stay put most likely) and live comfortably. The oil worker or the fisherman can't, they're on foodstamps thanks to the policies you supported. So keep swinging at the Republicans like with your newly found attention to Keystone, and we'll keep watching you swinging in the wind. We love it, how 'bout you?

Big Fat Free-For-All Friday

Add caption

CW's out of town (CW is ALWAYS out of town) so it's left to me to do HIS job. But the upside is I'm a helluva lot better at it than he is.
Anyway, let's get down to bidnez. What's on your mind? Electric bill gone tropospheric? Old lady catch you chatting up the Walgreens check-out floozy and cut you off? Your neighbor's new hound crapping in your yard?
We feel your pain, let it go good-buddy, just let it go.

Sharing the Lyme: Various Musings about the Midterm from the Sage of Tickbite

Ok now that the dust has settled let's have a look at some analyses (and fallout) from both sides of the isle (both sides being Democrat scum and me). What happened and why?

Many liberal talking heads say it was a vote against "gridlock" or an anti-incumbent vote, which I think is not very creative. Jeez if you're gonna bullshit show a little imagination. Now Nancy Pelosi is on the right track, she claims it was voter suppression. “To succeed, we must inspire, educate and remove obstacles to participation. Only by changing our political environment and broadening the universe of the electorate can we build a strong sense of community and an economy that works for everyone". 
See? That's how you BS! But lets define a couple of terms shall we? By "broadening the universe" I assume she means that anybody and everybody who wants free stuff courtesy of the American taxpayer not only may vote in our elections, but are encouraged to to do so be they whatever, whomever or wherever. Just have your ass at the polling station and you're good to go, and if anybody tries to stop you or there's not a ballot available in your native tongue of Ch'orti', then by (The Sun) God you are being suppressed!
Also I just love the new catch phrase being bandied about by the Dems (I noticed Kay Hagan used it a lot), "...an economy that works for everyone". Man if that's not a soccer mom, metrosexual, limp wrist focus grouped to hell and gone line then I ain't never heard one! An ECONOMY that works for everyone? That's like saying a baseball game that works for the players (Coach I'm hitting .167, this game just ain't working for me!). What does it all mean? I'm sure nobody has a clue but it sounds nice...and that's all that matters.

The Rev. Al has a different take, it was the Clintons fault (I guess he's not quite over that Sista Souljah thing). He goes on to say the Democrats should have embraced President Obama and if they had they would have won.
Ok I can buy half this argument. The Democrats should have embraced Obama, especially after in early October he declared this election to be all about him and his policies. Hell there wasn't a lot of wiggle room at that stage so why not? Plus they couldn't have done any worse and at least Obama might have spurred a little more turnout among the kleptocracy. Couldn't they see that their running from Obama was becoming the story? I'm so glad to see Democrat consultants are just as stupid as Republican consultants.
But as to the Clintons, they did this? Look I agree Hillary and Bill didn't help (Pryor must have been disgusted), but Obama campaigned for quite a few that lost as well. Check CW's adopted home state of Mary-Land.
Al screws up when he attempts logic, demagoguery is his bag. I would expect something just a little more entertaining out of him!

So...what DID happen? Glad you asked. This was a protest vote plain and simple (or as the guy over at the Daily Haymaker says, "a restraining order"). The Republicans didn't run on anything other than stopping Obama. So guess what? That's their mandate, stop Obama's ass...immediately! The voters have spoken loud and clear! Note to Republicans: git er dun!!!

Now if the chump wing of the Republican party loses their nerve and starts to believe all that "let's work together" bullshit, then we are toast. Don't be fooled or intimidated, rule the roost like you been there before and give 'em hell at every turn. Just keep in mind what Obama told us, if you want your way then win an election. We do and we did, thanks for the advise Mr. President.

The Hammer's College Gridiron Review, Week 11

What a difference a play makes! Auburn was in the catbird seat ready to claim their spot in the final four. True they stumbled against Miss State on the road but apart from that had beat some quality opponents (Ole Miss, K-State and LSU). Just get by Texas A&M at home, a depleted Georgia on the road and then THE DECIDER, Ala-Goddamn-Bama in Tuscaloosa and you're good to go. If Miss State cooperates and loses a game (which is likely) then Auburn could be in the SEC Championship game against a very beatable Missouri...then it's off to the races!
Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell Texas A&M (who finally found a quarterback). A fuzzy-faced Kyle Allen gashed them for 277 yards and 4 touchdowns, but they still had ample opportunity to win had they not caught a monster dose of the fumbleitis...in the red zone...repeatedly! Oh well, it happens, but if it's any consolation A&M is a damn fine football team.

LSU knows just how Auburn feels. They had Alabama right where they wanted them; in Tigerland, playing like shit and behind. But the Tide knows how to win, and LSU gaged. Off to OT, 'Bama scores, LSU which had been running the ball pretty well all day loses their nerve and starts passing like crazy. Alabama's secondary steps up and game over.
By the way do you know the toughest position to recruit in college football? It's defensive back. You can have a great athlete, speed, quickness the whole package and the guy be a complete zero! You can't judge them in high-school really because they don't play a lot of single coverage at that level and it's hard to gauge that sixth sense a good defensive back has to have. You want a guy who can cover lightening quick receivers, anticipate the guy's movements, read the receiver's body language when his head is turned, and close on the ball without drawing a penalty. Plus you want somebody who can take on a fullback running at top speed one-on-one in the open field, and bring him down. Not an easy position to fill. If it was you wouldn't see quality teams getting drilled for 400+ yards in the air week after week. Ok, class over, let's move on.

TCU with that monster offense of their's overwhelmed K-State (see above paragraph) so their ticket is punched. Notre Dame...what can you say? Those poor papist bastards went down to Phoenix and the got sand kicked in their face. Arizona State went CRAZY on 'em! I watched about 20 minutes of the game and I was embarrassed for the Irish, it was ugly. Now Notre Dame came back but it was too little too late. I think maybe the heat and the light freaked them out, they just looked unsettled.
Baylor beat Oklahoma in Norman (first time in centuries) and Duke is 8-1 (somebody told me CW is getting a Duke sweatshirt for xmas this year). State lost (zzzzzz) and UVA came out strong against FSU but that didn't last long. West Virginia went big time against a 4-5 Texas down in Austin and it would have been a good win for them, but I think they got a little intimidated by the atmosphere...and that's always the coach's fault.
Did you see they postponed Jameis Winston's student discipline hearing until like two days after the National Championship game? Jesus H. Christ, what a load of bollox! Jimbo Fischer learned his lesson well from Bobby Bowden. Look I love Bobby Bowden, I though he was a great guy and a great coach. But if Bowden had a weakness it was allowing some of these numbskulls to play at FSU.
Press: Coach your starting running back just got caught kicking his girlfriend's ass in the dorm parking lot and ripping off lobster tails from Publix. What disciplinary action are you taking?
Coach Bowden: He's been severely punished with some internal things I'm not prepared to talk about but I just want you to know, we're not giving up on this young man and he will be starting against the University of Miami on Saturday.
Press: Great Coach, thanks for your time.

Oh yeah, Ohio State beat Michigan State and Oregon beat #17 Utah on the road (as if anyone cares).

So who's left undefeated? Missississippi State, Flawda State and Marshall. Marshall is averaging 50+ points a game and giving up less than 20, but they play teams like Miami of Ohio and FIU. That's a real shame they won't get a shot but that's the way it goes. Doc Holliday won't be hanging around much longer I'd guess. By the way somebody corrected me as to when Doc was at State, my error (memory ain't what it used to be).

That's it, now piss off I'm tired of looking at you.

The Immigration Trap

The President and his Party lost the latest election in a grand way.  At least part of the victory in some states is likely to be attributed to their stance on immigration, though it is always difficult to nationalize a series of essentially state and local elections.  But for the purposes of this discussion, let us assume that indeed, the President and his Party's stance on immigration--specifically, the perception that they want to give legal status to those here illegally--was an important contributor to the defeat.

In post election news conferences, the President and his co-combatants John Boehner and Mitch McConnell, have begun to stake out their positions for the coming political battle.  The President has insisted that he possesses executive powers that will allow him to grant quasi-legal status to millions here illegally, and if a bill is not passed that meets his conditions, he will exercise that power.  Boehner and McConnell insist that they will not be blackmailed, and that the President's exercise of such dubious authority would have consequences.

The issue here for me isn't the political battle per se, so much as it is the consequences.  So far, neither Boehner nor McConnell has used the "I" word (impeachment) to describe what they consider those consequences to be.  That said, many, and I mean many, on the Right are beginning to lace their dialogue with references to impeachment as the means to deal with the President's potential overstepping of authority.

At the highest levels of the Republican Party, it must be acknowledged that unless Obama personally cuts out the beating heart of a virgin, illegal immigrant on the Arizona/Mexico border while selling secrets to the Chinese,  this issue cannot and will not trigger anything like a move for impeachment.

Let's face it folks, this is a trap of the highest order, one designed to ensnare Republicans and allow us to indulge the lesser angels of our nature--which include the remarkable capacity to self-destruct over unforced errors.  The President and his Democratic henchmen KNOW that there would be zero chance that the President would actually be removed from office over an abuse of power charge, but the country would once again be treated to the circus that is impeachment without removal.  This entire fight is designed to suck up all the available political oxygen while making Republicans look unhinged and incapable of governing without recourse to Soviet style show trials.  We cannot swing at this pitch in the dirt.

Wednesday Morning, November 9, 2016

Last night was a bloodbath, friends.  President-elect Hillary Clinton and Jack Reed won 32 states, the Democrats took the Senate back, and the Republican majority in the House is down to 10--that is.  With John Boehner having been defeated in the Republican House Primary, there is no real consensus on who the Speaker will be.

The Republican Party's moment of ascendance in November 2014 was just that--momentary.  It is hard to believe that a modern American political party could fall from grace with such rapidity, but that's what has happened---and here is how it did:

1.  We did not capitalize on the opportunity the voters gave us in 2014.  The overwhelming victory handed us in November of 2014 did not come from Republican Party regulars or movement Conservatives.  It came to us from disaffected working class Democrats, the apolitical and the non-aligned, people who do not value our ideological positions, but who did say to us, "fix things".  And we didn't.   We simply took our turn in the batters-box of partisan gridlock and spent more time making the President look bad than we did making the Republican Party look good.

2.  We failed at the Presidential level because we failed to recognize that this election was JUST LIKE the 1980 election, and that our victory would come courtesy of working class Democrats, people whose real wages and income have at best stagnated, and who increasingly have been turned off by the Democratic Party's brand of identity politics.  Our candidate did not put forward coherent policy positions to bring market forces to bear in healthcare and education, we did not attack the cozy relationship between banks and government, we did not put "the little guy" squarely in our sights and figure out how to apply conservative principles to advancing his plight and that of his family. We did not advance a positive message of how we were better suited to leading the nation forward; rather, we continued to focus on making life better for business and harder on those we feel "take" from the government.

3.  We bungled the Senate hearings for the new Attorney General and the new Supreme Court Justice.   Sonia Sotomayor's surprise resignation turned into a circus, and we have been without the ninth Justice for 16 months.  Rather than working with the White House to create a list nominees acceptable to the Democrats, we played hardball and refused to give the President's two nominees hearings.

4.  We did not do anything to make the healthcare system in the country better.  For good or bad, Obamacare is the law of the land.  Given the President's veto power, there was never a hope of repealing it, we spent over a year trying to do so without trying to do things that WERE possible.  And now here we are, two years down the road and the chances of making changes to the system that our voters would have liked, has disappeared.

5.  We let the President trap us into an immigration fight, and during that fight we fell all over ourselves in the race to be as insulting and insensitive to Hispanic voters as we could.  So instead of cutting a deal with the President that got us the Fence and got him a path to legality, we played chicken with him, he issued his executive orders, and even though the Supreme Court walked some of it back, we succeeded in alienating a growing portion of the electorate.  Exit polls indicate that we did worse with Hispanics than we did in 2012.  We lost Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico.  We won Texas by 53-47.

6.  We did nothing to grow the economy.  We could have traded a modest rise in the minimum wage for lower corporate taxes and brought jobs back to the United States, but we decided to die on that Hill and continue to resist an issue that breaks against us every time it is polled.  So no raise in the minimum wage, and no fall corporate tax rates.

7.  We fell in love with the conditions of our 2014 victory and did not examine presumptions.  The conventional wisdom was that our new technology "got out our vote", while what really happened was that the other side simply didn't.  I remember talking to a dude a few days after we took the Senate and won a squeaker in the Florida Governor's race.  He's a Florida absentee voter, and he had been on the Romney for President Team.  Yet even then, he got three emails from Charlie Crist during the election, and not one from Rick Scott.  We weren't very good then, and we aren't very good now.

8.  We did nothing to continue with the inroads we made in 2014 with candidate diversity--women, blacks, Hispanics, the young--seem to have been forgotten about in our candidate search this year.

There was so much hope, back in early November of 2014.  The Democratic Party was demoralized and its shining hope was an unlikable woman in her late 60's.  And here we are, a Party in tatters.  It was all avoidable...it was all so avoidable.....

The Hammer's Election Analysis

It was a really big show, as someone once said. I swear I must have spilled half my boilermaker on at least several occasions. Although I haven't looked at the numbers specifically, I'd guess the Republicans made as good a showing as 1994, maybe even better. So what are we to take from all this? Here's what I think.
1) This was absolutely NOT a watershed "OMG the Republican have been right all along" moment. There were no Hallelujah epiphanies by moderates or leftists who have finally seen the conservative light.
2) This was a clear referendum on Democratic leadership and policies, plain and simple. Exit polls in North Carolina showed 90% plus were voting AGAINST rather than FOR!
3) If Republicans blow this opportunity they will be just as throughly rejected in 2016.
4) Libertarians are a problem that have to be addressed, and establishment Republicans are woefully ill-suited for the job.

Let's dig a little deeper. Where did the Republicans over-perform and why? In Virginia Ed Gillespie almost pulled one out against a very popular ex-Governor (lost by less than 1%), and would have won had not the Libertarian syphoned off 2.45% (Gillespie was so far behind he wasn't even on anyone's radar). In Colorado Cory Gardner won over an incumbent (admittedly an idiot) in a state Obama took twice. So how did they do it? Messaging that's how. They offered a clear agenda for the future. They ran as optimistic, enthusiastic conservatives and that excitement and energy was felt by the electorate...and they responded. Contrast that to Tillis who won by a point and a half in a state that Romney carried in 2012. His was a drone campaign, all TV ads and press releases. He won because he had the resources not to be "disqualified" by Hagan's henchmen, not because he had a positive agenda. Hagan and her support of Barack Obama and Harry Reid was rejected, Thom Tillis was just the means to that end. He's damn lucky he won.

CW mentioned that the Tea Party was over and done. Maybe he's right, as a organized political entity. The Tea Party never was that organized to begin with but the ideas and ideals espoused by the Tea Party are as old as America and the notion that they have somehow gone away just because the Republican Party establishment rode a protest wave, well it's just ridiculous. The Tea Party is here to stay, whatever it may be called.

But CW is right on one point, the task of the Republicans now is to put on their big-boy pants and start governing like grownups! No games, no shenanigans just hard-nosed legislating for the American people, and that includes oversight of the executive. We've had a lot of corruption these past six years, the subpoenas should be flying out the door very soon.

This is an opportunity, a trial run for 2016. Let's not blow it. Let's get the Dems on the defensive and keep them there.

A Big Night for the GOP

I went to bed when the Senate was at 52-44, comfortable in the knowledge that a majority had been won.  I woke to the news that Sullivan would probably win in Alaska, so we're looking at 53.  A month from now, I'm hoping to see Mary Landrieu finally ousted from the Senate, to get to 54.  Most surprising of all though, was that the People's Democratic State of Maryland elected a REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR.  Who had Barack...and Michelle....and Bill....and Hillary....all campaigning for his opponent.  This is indeed a wonderful day.

I was honestly (pleasantly) surprised by the Tillis win in North Carolina, having received most of my news on that race from the Tickbite Tattler's constant screeds against the Republican Establishment and the apocalypse that would befall us for not running a sufficiently ideological candidate.

So, what does all this mean?  It does not mean that the electorate all of a sudden loves Republicans, or our ideas.  They are decidedly down on the President, they are unsure about the direction of the country, and they made the choice that the direction we were on was the wrong one.  We should not misinterpret this victory.  Each of the races was indeed an individual contest between those running, but the President was on the ballot, in a deeply psychological way.  That said, this was NOT in my view, an affirmative choice about GOP ideas or policies.  There is no real mandate here, only a tentative decision to had us the keys to the car and ask us to drive for a while.

I believe that this election means that as a separate political entity, the Tea Party is now moot.  Its five year run is effectively over, but not without demonstrably changing the tone and tenor of the Republican Party.  That is a good thing--a strong Party is like an alloyed metal, with new ideas acting to change the character of the whole.  If it wants to keep Tea Partiers in the fold, GOP Leadership will have to make sure that they respond to the issues they hold dear.  If it gets cocky and starts to act as if the Tea Partiers have been defanged, we'll have another painful insurrection.

This also means that Hillary is now unbound.  Democrats will be unnerved by the extent of the defeat last night, and Barack Obama is a dead man walking. The President is so unpopular that she now has a pass from her party to run against Mr. Obama.  Look for her to begin to talk about reforming Obamacare, for example.

Republicans should (as I said yesterday) use their time in the spotlight to show Americans that the legislative branch can function.  It can pass budgets.  It can move legislation to the President.  Uncork that bottle of bills that Harry Reid has sat on and begin sending them up to the President.  Act like adults.

This is a really great day.  Two years ago on the day after Mitt Romney lost, I could not have thought this possible.  But that's the great thing about American Politics.

On Tomorrow's Midterm Elections

Tomorrow evening at this time, I'll be in front of my ManCave TV with election night coverage on and some manner of internet device in my hand to follow along with Twitter.  I'm genuinely excited about what seems to be a good night for Republicans, though I am less sanguine than some.  I'm a huge fan of Larry Sabato's election analysis at UVA, and he seems to figure in a big night for the GOP.  I won't make any exact predictions, but I think Sabato is like others, giving R's more than they'll get.

I desperately want to see Mary Landrieu ejected from the Senate, and I am very much pulling for Tom Cotton in Arkansas.

The prospect of Harry Reid vacating the Leader's chair is delicious, as is the likelihood that Chuck Schumer will try and take him on for minority leader, sensing blood in the water.

What will be very interesting to me is the Lame Duck session.  We saw a good deal of important things happen in the 2010 Lame Duck, and perhaps we'll get something out of this one.  Since the a Republican dominated Congress is likely to pass Keystone, and since most D's in the Senate want it anyway, I wouldn't be surprised to see Keystone passed before the end of the year.

But....don't get too excited about what can be done.  The President yields the veto pen and that veto is not going to be overturned in the Senate.  Anyone who believes that "we can just "repeal" Obamacare using Reconciliation (simple majority only needed) in the Senate" fails to recognize that Obama could then simply veto the repeal.

Republicans should send a series of popular bills to the President in the next two years and force him to veto them or bite down hard and sign.  Additionally, they MUST pass all funding bills IN REGULAR ORDER.  No continuing resolutions.  Show the country that you know how to lead, that you know how to be responsible...and good things will follow.

College Football Roundup: Week Zehn

Beware Texas kickers with German surnames. WVU should have remembered that well known Hammerism.  West Virginia had TCU on the ropes at home and decided to hunker down and take the 4th. quarter off... against TCU...one of the best offenses in the country that rings the cash register so fast it'll make your head spin. Great strategy Coach Holgorsen! 

Look I understand how he got there, West Virginia's defense is real damn good. But Jeez you can't just run off tackle play after play with apparently no purpose and expect your defense to do it all. It's just stupid! Plus it's not like it was a mistake where you just kinda choke and screw up with clock management or commit a turnover or something. This was a conscience in-game football decision.
Remember Russell Erxleben (currently in the federal penal system)? I'm sure the Oklahoma Sooners do. And I'm also sure ole Dana will remember Jaden Oberkrom for a while. What a dummy!

Ooooooo, bad day in Oxford, and I ain't talking The Boat Race on the River Thames against Cambridge. No friends, the William Faulkner, John Grisham, James Meridith and Archie Manning Oxford...in Missississippi. Yeah I know, glad I ain't there too! Anyway tough tough outing for the Rebels. Last week LSU took them to school with a pounding ground attack and this week Auburn did much the same thing. But Ole Miss still could have won this game but for two red-zone turnovers one of which resulted in their star receiver Laquon Treadwell snapping his leg. See you next year Laquon, you too Ole Miss.
However in other Missississippi news the Miss St. Bulldogs held off Arkansas for a good win to retain their #1 spot. Unfortunately they still have to play Alabama and a very pissed off Ole Miss both on the road. I'm not looking for these guys in the final four, but if they make it then by golly they'll deserve it!

I want to mention Florida State. God knows this is a talented football team but it just seems these guys are as ripe for the picking as a South Jersey Homecoming queen after a few fuzzy navels. I cannot stand Jameis Winston. To me he seems like he's just having too much fun being Jameis Winston, and the rules don't really apply to Jameis Winston ALL AMERICAN. These guys are due for an ass-whooping of Biblical proportions, I just don't know who's gonna give it to them. They got Virginia at home next week, so we can forget about that one. Maybe the Gators, they sure stuck it to Georgia yesterday (rivalries, you never can tell).

Locally (local to me) ECU took the day off against Temple (I hate Temple almost as much as Carolina) and Duke won a thrilla in Heinz Field against Pitt. The Tar Heels lost to Miami, State beat Syracuse after doing their best to lose and Ga. Tech kicked the living shit outta Virginia in Hot'Lanta.
Which brings me to Virginia Tech. What is wrong with those guys? Look I get it, can't be top ten every year, but Beamer is losing games he's supposed to win like yesterday against BC. Wow, can't wait for the Hokies and the Wahoos to square off, I'm sure it'll have the intensity of a lovers tiff in a Greenwich Village leather bar.

Well that's it, we're getting down to the short strokes now. Lots of good teams out there and lots of shakeups on the horizon. Should be good!

C-ya

Big Fat Friday Free For All

What's the matter, Chief?  Gain a pound and a half this week while working out five times? About to lose your Senate race to a very beatable candidate? Generals bitching about your war plan?

Share your pain.  We're here for you.

Senator of What?

I cannot think of a better or clearer example as to why the XVII Amendment should be repealed than what is happening now in North Carolina. In the Senate race between Kay Hagan and Thom Tillis over $100,000,000 will be spent by both political parties (along with a myriad of special interest groups) in an attempt to buy this election. It should give one pause to consider exactly what the payoff must be for some of these groups to go all in, as if their very survival depends on it, and indeed it just may. One thing is for certain, whatever goodies handed out will come courtesy of the American taxpayer... and it will be huge. That my friends is what scares hell out of me.

Let me ask you, how are the people of North Carolina being served by these two candidates? They were picked by the elites of both parties to serve the elites of those parties. The campaign is being financed by said elites and the winner will be beholding to same, not the citizens of North Carolina. I don't wish to imply we are unique in all this, quite the contrary, this is the norm throughout the country with every competitive Senatorial race. We just happen to be the most stark example of how and why the system is broken.

As I've said before and as every high school freshman knows, the balance of powers was given a lot of thought by the framers. A Representatives' job is to protect the interest of the citizens in their district. The President's job is to protect the nation's interests. Once Senators were appointed by the state governments (and beholding to) and therefore protected the interests of the States. Now we have a system where the Senators owe nothing to their respective States. And please don't say the voters, they are just a hoop to jump through...with the help of outside money of course. And that "outside money" whatever or whomever it may be is a Senator's true constituency, NOT the voters.

So whomever is elected be it Kay Hagan or Thom Tillis, they will not be representing anybody or anything even remotely connected to guys like me. They are the political class, and I don't have a say.

Update from the Road

It's the morning of my last day in San Diego for this trip.  I'll work all day, grab some dinner, turn in the rental car and then hop on the Redeye.  Good, though uneventful trip thus far, though I must report that my hunt for the perfect hotel goes on.  The Holiday Inn Express I'm in is pretty good.  A hearty free breakfast, free parking, free wifi (yes, I know those costs are rolled into the total cost, but I don't like them charged as extras) and a clean comfortable room.  Problem is, it is haflway between Little Italy and Old Town San Diego--so sorta stuck in the middle.  I did manage to walk to a sushi joint for some rather good but overpriced sushi last night, but by and large, one needs to drive to any respectable place to eat.  The gym here is small, but I've been the only person in it each time I've visited so that hasn't been an issue.

The weather has been--as it usually is--perfect.  I drive across the Coronado bridge each morning on my way to the client site, and where I lived for 15 months spreads out before me.  What a life it was.  I see young mothers and children on the streets as I drive through, and I wonder "who can afford this at that age?"

One of the bonuses to working where I do is that the Navy's Basic Underwater Demolition School (BUDS) is nearby--the place where we begin to make SEALS.  I walked down to the Subway to grab a turkey sub (6 inch) yesterday at lunch time, and passed the based galley as I walked.  There--at an outside shower, were twenty five or so young exhausted men waiting their turns to step up fully clothed into the shower, to remove the heavily caked sand and dirt from their uniforms.  Many of you have seen TV shows that feature what these men go through, and it is grueling.  Making sure none of their handler/torturers was nearby, I softly added a "keep it up guys, proud of you" as I walked by--and got two or three huge bright smiles of recognition in return.

I've managed to sorta stay on East Coast time while here, getting to bed each night well before 9PM and up at 0500.  Truth be told, that would be the DESIRED East Coast schedule, but I try to remain conscious a bit longer at home in order to keep the Kitten happy with my effervescent conversation, but I often fail at that task.  The other problem is that I often get up at 0500 too.  So I suppose the only thing I am really accomplishing on the West Coast is getting more sleep.

I am watching the run-up to the mid-term election with great anticipation. Things appear to be going well for Republicans, but I don't see it as overwhelming.  I'm looking forward to staying up late next Tuesday to watch things come in, but the entire evening will be made whole if and when it is announced that the Senate balance has tipped.  I cannot wait to see Harry Reid lose power.  I simply don't like the man.  I never disliked Tom Daschle....but this guy....the worst.

Republicans shouldn't expect miracles though. The President has the Veto and it still requires 2/3 of each chamber to overturn. Those numbers simply don't exist.  So when folks talk about "using reconciliation to repeal Obamacare" they are indulging in fantasy.  Perhaps we get the 51 votes in the Senate required to pass a repeal under reconciliation, but when the President vetoes it, we'd still need the two thirds majorities to overcome that--which will not come.  Now, it might be worth ONE vote to demonstrate Republican seriousness, but then any subsequent vote would be unserious.

The rocket exploding on the launch pad last night just seems like the latest in a string of mounting evidence that we've lost something, a little spring in our step, the ability to hard things well.  I wrote yesterday that I thought the person who makes us believe we are still good at doing hard things, and who lays out a vision for how we'll recapture that spring--that's the person who will win in 2016.  In other words, a positive, uplifting message.  We'll see if anyone hops on that....

The Hammer's College Football Show Week 9, with Special Guest...eh...The Hammer

Ole Miss and LSU played a good one last night in Red Stick (aka Baton Rouge) and for us devotees of old fashioned smash-mouth football it was like 1957 with Billy Cannon. Just a great back-to-basics football game. I can just hear the chatter down in the trenches: "I is sorry my brother but I goin hafta bus yo head head wide open and yo mamma ain't fixin' you no grits 'n gravy and yo girfren' ain't givin' you no puddin'. By the way, how's that class in plasma physics coming along?".
LSU had four turnovers, so how did they win? Well the passing game was pretty much a wash but they almost doubled the Rebels on the ground, plus a few stupid penalties here and a few bone-headed plays there and presto-chango...YOU LOSE! But the really BIG loser in this game is #1 Missississippi State. Can you guess why?
They had an interesting stat on one of the shows about Les Miles. Check this out, going onto the 4th quarter BEHIND, he has a .511 winning percentage. Chew on that awhile.

Ok let's get it out of the way, UVA blew it like a drunk Paris Hilton on a Foo Fighters tour bus. The Heels were outgained 443 to 374 and didn't look so hot themselves, but still Virginia found a way to not get it done (I'll just say Mike London's clock management needs a little work). This might be all she wrote for Coach. This was a game that should have been a win and now the Wahoos' bowl situation is precarious at best. London didn't have a lot of goodwill to start the year so we'll see. But damnit all to hell, I HATE WHEN CAROLINA WINS!!! Hey CW, worn that Carolina sweatshirt lately?

In other action South Carolina went .500 and 2-4 in the SEC, the Vols continue to suck as does the Michigan Wolverines and Texas Longhorns. ECU is 6-1 and Marshall is 8-0. Did I tell you I once met Marshall's Coach? His name is Doc Holliday and he spent a few years in Raleigh as Mike O'Cain's offensive coordinator, and I found him to be very offensive (insert canned laughter here). Naaa, just jiving. He's obviously a pretty good coach having gone 8-0 I don't care who you're playing. I wonder if UVA has his phone number?

At this point in the season there are a lot of GREAT one loss teams out there, and two loss teams as well. Oregon is good (although their defense sucks) 'Bama, Auburn, Mich. St., Nebraska, Ohio State, K-State, TCU, Baylor. The National Championship is wide ass open. I wouldn't hazard a guess as to who is in the top four but I can guarantee there'll be a ton of pissed off teams at the end of the year. Give it a couple of years and they'll trim a game or two off the schedule and go to an 8 or 16 team playoff. There's just too many good teams out there.

Well that's it. Oh, almost forgot, the Wolfpack didn't lose this week.
C-ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

The Use of Political Proxies

One of the benefits of considering oneself a member of a political party is the proxy value of that membership.  Here's what I mean.  If someone runs as a Republican in a race against a Democrat, I can know nothing about the particulars of the race but STILL have some basic sense of how I should vote simply because someone adheres to the same party as I.  And if I do not educate myself on those particulars, the party proxy is sufficient for me to vote for that person.

We have in our county, and elected council.  One of the members of the council is a friend of ours, Catherine more than me, but a friend nonetheless.  He is a Republican.  I know this only because I had to do significant searching around to figure it out.  It is nowhere on his electioneering material, his yard signs, his bumper sticker--nada.  He is in fact, a member of a small subgroup of county council members who sorta run as a block--Democrat and Republican--under the banner of "County over Party".

I decided that I was not going to vote for him in the upcoming election, because of his attempt to be apolitical.  During a conversation with the Kitten yesterday, she was much exercised by this revelation.  Now the Kitten and I don't do politics all that well, because the few things she cares about, she cares about deeply, and sometimes I disagree but care far less deeply.  Those conversations never end well.  The Kitten was really taken aback by my stance, and insisted that it didn't make sense.  I made the counterargument that it makes perfect sense, that I prefer to spend my days thinking and reading about national and international issues, and that I use the "party proxy" to guide my local decisions.  This simply didn't wash, and I could see that she was getting a bit upset with me--not only because she is friends with the guy I wasn't going to vote for, but because in her opinion, his stances on the issues were much better aligned with the interests of our household.  Sensing the significant likelihood of there being no good way out of this, I stumbled upon an idea of true genius.

I said, "ok, Kitten.  You will be m proxy.  I will consult with you on local elections and matters, and rather than use the party as my proxy, I'll use you."  Problem solved.  Pure, f*****g genius.

On The Road Again

This missive comes to you from the United Club, terminal C Dulles Airport.  I'm in a foul temper, so I might as well just let it out.

Firstly, this airport continues to blow, and I really mean blow.  There is not an airport in the nation where the daily parking is as far removed from the terminals, as here.  Not even Providence RI, which also blows.

Whereas once upon a time, we cleared security here and then got on the dreaded people movers, when the people mover docked, you were at your terminal.  Pure and simple.  Annoying, but pure and simple. So now there is a light rail system, which during its construction, I believed would make this less of a suckhole of an airport.  Except it doesn't.  It only sorta gets you to your terminal, after which you have another long walk.  Ridiculous place.

Speaking of security, the real source of my distemper is TSA/Security.  You see, I'm one of those guys who paid his money, filled out the paperwork, got fingerprinted, and had the interview--so that I could go through the TSA "Pre" line.  No taking the computer out, no taking the liquids out, no taking the shoes off, no taking the belt off.  A great way to speed through security.  Except if you have a hunk of titanium instead of a hip.  You see, those circular xray machines were a Godsend for me.  The metal detectors ALWAYS trip on me, and then I get the pat and wand action.  So even before TSA Pre, the circular scanners were a serious upgrade for my security experience.  What Dulles apparently hasn't yet figured out though is that some of the people going through TSA -Pre have ortho implants--but there is no circular scanner at the TSA Pre station.  And so there I go, fat, dumb, and happy, and the metal detector trips.  Ok, I figure I need to get a quick pat and I'm on my way.  No.  Back through.  Take my shoes and belt off--essentially back to the non-Pre status.

So as I stood there fuming, I asked to see a supervisor.  A kindly gentleman came over to speak with me and I informed him of the significant design problem.  He copped to it, and told me I should ask to be escorted to the Xray scanner next time.  I asked if I were the first person to bring this up.  He said, "no, happens all the time".  Life under Obama.

I am on my way back to San Diego, where I have a wonderful client and where I will be traveling once a month or so for the next year.  This is my third trip since August, and I am attempting to find "the perfect hotel" to stay in.  My requirements?  Free WiFi.  Free parking.  Some kind of a gym.  20 minute commute to the jobsite or less. And a good bed.  Name brands preferred.  This time, I am staying at a Holiday Inn Express that appears to meet most of my requirements, so we'll see how it turns out.

Back to my happy place....I am considering springing my participation in "No Shave" November on the Kitten when I return.  This is no small item, as she and the Kittens tend to shun me when I am bearded.  It will not be a domestically peaceful month if I undertake this operation.  There is a reasonable chance for increased passive/aggressive behavior.  There really isn't much of an upside to it, except I don't have to shave.  It has become crystal clear as I have aged that three things make me look older--being fatter, longer hair, and a beard.  We'll see if this flies--I'll keep you posted.

Badinage From the Front Lines of Caroline du Nord

Legal/illegal is just a state of mind in North Carolina and it appears illegals don't mind at all. Currently there are 10,000 illegal aliens on the North Carolina voter rolls. This is due to a number of factors, not the least of which is our Republican Governor's decision to give Jorge from Heujucar a driver's license when he couldn't spell driver's license in English OR Spanish (actually Nahuati) if you held an AK-47 from an Arizona gun shop courtesy of the Holder Justice Department's illegal gunrunning to his greasy, louse bitten head.
How did we get here? Let me explain. First, a NC driver's license is issued to a known illegal which looks EXACTLY THE SAME as every other driver's license. Then DOT sends a list to the Board of Elections and if they smell a rat they send the name (maybe a real name, maybe an alias...who would know?) to Homeland security which tells them if the individual is a citizen and therefore eligible to vote. Remember, when the license is issued these folks are ADMITTED illegals. Well, lo and behold the overwhelming majority of inquiries made to Homeland are found to be just fine, yes indeed they are citizens and eligible to vote. Nevermind  that in many cases the individual in question wouldn't have had time to get a green card, much less full citizenship. And nevermind this 10k number is just what they have found SO FAR based on underreported numbers from Homeland. God only knows the real number!
I've always thought voter fraud accounted for about 3-5% nationwide. I viewed it much like a department store views "shrinkage", just the cost of doing business. But friends this is a real problem and 5% might be a huge miscalculation. If we can root out this stuff and get it front and center in the public's mind we can show the Democrats to be the liars and cheats we know them to be, and maybe, just maybe we can derail some of Obama's immigration insanity (and actually win an election or two).


Can you believe Carolina? I'm more perplexed and dumbfounded than angry (or happy). As you know Tickbite is Wolfpack country, not many preppies wearing Bass Weejuns running around here. But UNC is OUR university too. If there is wrongdoing WE have an interest as well. I may be an opponent of UNC on the athletic field but we Tickbite-ittes want to be proud of our flagship university not ashamed. I have seen many scandals over the years, as we all have; point shaving, criminals with scholarships, out of control alumni etc., but I've never seen bogus classes! For 20 years they had "paper classes" that didn't meet! AND they want us to believe only two people knew about it. Give me a break !!
This has grown beyond a normal scandal, we're into SMU territory now. I can well understand the fear they are experiencing. The Tar Heel brand is worth millions upon millions in real dollars, forget about the intrinsic, intangible value. They want to protect it and their instincts are to circle the wagons. I get it, but that time is over. Forget about NCAA sanctions, somebody needs to go to jail! The powers that be should just forget about sports for a while. They need to get a hatchet man over at the athletic department and clean house from top to bottom, and I'm talking everybody from the water girls to Roy Williams. And please don't tell me Williams didn't know about this, the kids he was coaching knew, they were the ones enrolled in the "classes", so the idea that he wasn't aware is ridiculous. That is the only way to restored confidence. I don't say this out of malice, I say this as a product and a friend of the North Carolina university system. God I wish Bill Friday were here, he'd know what to do and have the guts to do it.

That's all I got. I was gonna talk about Monica Lewinsky a bit, but what's the point? Hillary's minions will have this bimbo idiot jumping out a window if she keeps it up (oh it was terrible, she was soooo depressed). She's just a blow-job joke anyway but if it happens Drudge will get the blame.

Big Fat Friday Free For All

Hello, Chumley.  What's got you down?  Honey Boo Boo's mom pass on you for a child molester?  Ebola putting a cramp in your hipster lifestyle?  Got a Russian sub in your home waters you just can't find?

Share, friends.  Share.

This morning's weigh in--190.8.

Interested in what I've weight on/around this date over the years?

1982--136
1987--158
1992--168.5
2004--180
2005--186
2006--184.2
2007--184
2008--170
2009--169
2010--194
2011--180
2012--185
2013--182

So--my average weight on/about this date from 2004 on is 182.8.  I am currently 8 pounds above that.  Gotta get my act together.

The Hammer's College Football Review: Week 8, Skate and Don't Hesitate

What a game last night in Tallahassee! The Notre Dame Fighting Irish came to town loaded for bear and brother-man they almost pulled it off. Admittedly I haven't paid much attention to the Irish this year but I was very favorably impressed. Brian Kelly has put together a squad with not a lot of weaknesses. Their skill positions are outstanding and their line play is absolutely top notch! But they need to learn how and when to cheat. I refer specifically to blatant picks on cornerbacks right there in front of God and and a national television audience (it cost them the game winning touchdown). So my condolences to all you Papists and half-drunk mud apes of Irish ancestry out there, but buy a clue, you ain't gonna get those kind of calls at Doak Campbell Stadium on a Saturday night.

In other action #4 Baylor is #14 Baylor having lost to the best unranked team in the country, WVU. The Mountaineers blow hot and cold so often it must be a bitch for their fans. At least NC State sucks CONSISTENTLY! TCU looked great against OK State. 'Bama got some payback against Texas A&M, Oklahoma lost to K-State at home (State's defense is KILLER!) and Ohio State is starting to make a move.

I watched most of the Ga. Tech/UNC game yesterday, It was very disappointing. I expected the Jackets to bring that triple option into Kenan and hang 60 on statistically the worst defense in college football. WRONG! Coach Larry Fedora (never trust anybody named Larry) got those assholes to play over their heads so that's two in a row now for Tech.

CW's Cavaliers got dusted by Dook yesterday in Durham. It was funny, all the while the game was on CW was stuck watching The Marriage of Figaro in some dinky little theatre in bumfuq Mary-Land some God-damn where. Nothing like a little Mozart when your team sucks I always say. I could tell he was really into the performance posting on FB every five minutes. And that's just the thing isn't it? A good libretto ain't got a chance in the cultural wasteland of crab-on-the-brain eastern Mary-land. What a waste of time by all parties involved.

Well, I think we can announce the first firing of the year, Florida's Will Muschamp. The poor guy is drowning. The Gators got humiliated yesterday in The Swamp by the Misery Tigers and trust me, Gainesvillains are in no way amused. Oh they'll let him play out the year, but after the FSU game he'll have a bus ticket in hand.

As I alluded to last week, the Shepherd University Rams did indeed lose to Notre Dame (the South Euclid, Ohio Notre Dame) 35-34. Falcon QB Ray Russ threw for 459 yards to hand Shepherd their first loss of the year and dash their hopes of a chickenshit, small college, whogivesashit national championship. Oh well, could be worse, you could be a NCSU fan.

Do you folks realize that if we had to pick the four teams for the playoff right now we'd have two teams from Missississippi in it? Who woulda figured? But since Ole Miss and Miss State play each other the last game probably ain't gonna happen. As you well know, late losses count a helluva lot more than early losses. As it stands now we might even get a two loss team in the playoff.

That's it. I'm kinda bummed what with Duke and Carolina winning and State losing. I'm just not myself. So if I've offended anyone with my off color repartee, then I just want to take this opportunity and say, get over it numb-nuts. C-ya.

On the Virtues of Sleeping In

Six graduate level writing assignments await my studied eye today, so in order to ready myself to hack others' writing to pieces I figured I'd do a bit of my own first.  I rise today in full-throated support of not rising; that is, in sleeping in.  It is something I do only rarely, but having done so this morning I am flush with praise for the practice and hope for its continuing presence in my life.

I am an early riser.  Partially by choice and partially as a result of geography, I tend to get up pretty early each day, including Saturday and Sunday.  Additionally, having made a career choice that virtually guarantees that I always have work to do and that the level of work cannot possibly be confined to eight hour days, I find myself up early even when I don't have long commutes to make, simply to have enough time to get the work done.

This morning was different, and it involved a conscious choice.  You see Kitten #2 is an accomplished equestrienne, and she has a very,very important show today. Her performance will determine if she makes the Washington International Horse Show, something that has been her aim for about two years now.  Her determination and hard work has been something to watch, and I am truly proud of her for the way she has approached this goal.  The show is so important that she asked that I (and her grandmother) not come to it, and is only allowing her mother to attend as a means of transportation to and from.  I go to many of her shows, and I have been witness to the nervousness and tension that goes along with this pursuit--and so I took my leave with aplomb.

The show necessitated an early wake up (early for Kittens) of 0500.  When the alarm went off, I laid there and considered my options.  I could grab my mask and earplugs and roll over and go back to sleep, or I could get up, make them breakfast, and see them off with hugs and best wishes of support.  You have no idea how attractive the former option was, especially considering how often I am up at 0500 as it is.  I did in fact, grab the mask and earplugs, and put both on whilst the Kitten pursued her toilette behind closed door, an important detail as she did not SEE me make this commitment to sloth and self-love.  I laid there for a minute or two and reconsidered my decision.  IF Kitten #2 makes the big show in DC, I will not be able to be there because I am flying to California.  I had already been informed that my presence at THAT show was absolutely desired, and I earned some raised eyebrows at missing yet another seminal event.  Given these circumstances, my laying in bed might be viewed with some scorn.

Because higher order thought processes had begun--something that always dooms my ability to sleep-- I bounded out of bed and asked the Kitten if I could make her and her spawn some eggs before they left.  I immediately entered faux husband and faux father of the year status with this simple act.  "You don't have to" she said, and while I agreed that I did not HAVE to, I did not feel completely free not to, at least while confined to my own guilty conscience.  And so, I alighted to the kitchen, engaged in the standard feeding rituals with the two dogs who apparently had grown to miss me with great feeling in the previous six hours, and made a pan of scrambled eggs.  When Kitten #2 appeared, she thanked me for the "good luck flowers" I set in her room yesterday (I'm no dummy) and began to devour her eggs.  They were not around more than ten minutes before it was time to load up and move out, and so I saw them off with a clear starry sky and a crescent moon overhead.

And then went back to bed.  And sprawled out decadently.  And put my mask on so that the approach of day would go unnoticed.  And put ear plugs in so that whatever noise the dogs might make would be ignored.

I laid there remembering the DVD-encased advice of some guru I had once heard who said, "if you think deeply about your breathing, no other thought can enter your mind.'  This always works for me, and so that is what I did.  And three and a half hours later, I woke up.  Dazed, but satisfied.  Completely refreshed.  Actually, felling accomplished, as if I had stolen something of great value from some kind of protective giant, or dragon.

Was this theft a responsible act? No.  Indeed not.  I have a ton of work to do.  I am scheduled to go sit in the local viewing area for the Met Opera and enjoy "Le Nozze di Figaro".  The Kitten has been patiently waiting for me to run more cat 6 cable to variously inaccessible parts of the house. But none of this matters to me right now, as I am well-rested and self-satisfied.

Big Fat Friday Free For All

What's the matter, friend?  Worried about that sneezy West African you sat next to on the shuttle from JFK to Dulles?  Concerned about losing your Majority Leader position in the next Congress?
Share, friend.  Share!

I am become huge, a man of great girth but not mirth.  Got back on the wagon Monday morning and lost 1.8 lbs for the week, but I shan't begin crowing for quite some time.

This quick update comes to you from the Business Center in the Library at the Army and Navy Club in DC, where I am killing a bit of time before recording a Podcast for the folks at War on the Rocks at 6PM.  I'll link to the podcast once it is up.  You can bet it will be largely Naval in character...there are very few things that would get me to head INTO DC on a Friday afternoon, but this kind of a chat with smart fellows is the kind of thing that will do it.

An Open Letter from President Obama

My fellow citizens, recently there has been much discussion in the press about the Ebola outbreaks. Some are criticizing our response with false charges and misinformation. I would like to address your concerns today and reassure you, I have our most qualified people working on your behalf to eradicated this scourge. 

First, why in 2010 did we discontinue the CDC quarantine regulations aimed at Ebola? As was reported on MSNBC I personally was not aware these regulations had been scraped, but after careful analysis the healthcare professionals at the CDC decided they were not needed and saw no reason to reinstitute them solely to appease those who shout the loudest. Manufactured hysteria trumped up by rightwing talk radio and Fox News cannot dictate our actions. The reality is we live in a world community. If I were to close our borders to West Africa and Ebola were to remain strictly an "African disease" then no monies would be allocated for the research needed to attack this virus. We ARE our brother's keeper and if black Africans are suffering then the world is suffering. Need I remind America of their rape of that continent and our obligations there?

My fellow Americans the facts are clear, this whole situation could have been avoided had not the Republicans gutted the CDC's budget. If we had had the funds the nurse in Dallas would have been trained and her protocol violation wouldn't have happened and she would not have Ebola. I tried to fund the CDC properly so as to protect the world from the ravages of want and disease. If we had had the funds our top scientists would probably have developed a cure by now. I did my best for the American people but the rightwing does not care about your well-being, their opposition to the Affordable Care Act proves it.  Sadly the bad guys win sometimes, for that I am sorry. 

Let me reiterate, our policy is we will not close our borders because it would actually make the problem worse. America is a country of immigrants. Muslims, Blacks, Hispanics ARE America and have been since our founding. We cannot and will not turn our backs on the poor and destitute no matter what country they may be in. I am currently doing everything in my power to minimize this plague but whatever may happen, it is clear the Republicans have failed us and I hope you remember when you go to the polls in two weeks. 

Taiwan Trip Wrap-up

It is now Tuesday afternoon, two days after I returned home to Easton.  I need to wrap up the Taiwan trip because some readers get upset that I "leave them hanging" (you know who you are) when I don't do a closure piece.  So here it is.

The flight home was absolutely delightful.  We were whisked to the airport, through a special security gate, and to our departure gate with the greatest of bureaucratic ease.  Flopping into my business class pod, I endeavored to be strategic about the fifteen hour flight by staying awake long enough to eat the sumptuous meal they had planned and then watching a movie.  I did both, selecting "Million Dollar Arm" for viewing, and I was not disappointed.  About five hours into the flight, I changed into the Viet Cong pajamas they gave us for the flight, not because I was not already comfortably attired, but because I knew I'd be wearing those clothes for an extended period and I felt I'd given them a rest.  Mask on, earplugs in, and off to sleep--but only for two and a half hours--at which point I woke up and tackled some work projects for a few hours.  Then, another movie--"Draft Day", which was exceptional.  A bit more work, another meal, and voila--we landed in New York fifteen hours later but only three hours after we took off by local times.

My traveling companions all checked bags, but I did not, using my new rolling, hanging, bag suitcase that fits in the carry-on bin so that I could avoid the hassle.  Additionally, my enrollment in Global Entry meant a quick walk to the kiosk, insertion of my passport, fingerprint check, answering a few questions and I was then clear of immigration.  Because I had to wait on the others, I went out into the lobby of the airport and called the motel that we were booked into for the night, in order to get the scoop on how to get there.  One port authority bus to another part of the airport and then onto the hotel shuttle.  Easy enough.  We arrived at our Best Western at around 2330 and took to our rooms.  At 0800 we were up and out, back to JFK to hop on the shuttle to Dulles, then the drive back to Easton. I got home at around 2PM and was greeted by two sloppy labs and The Kitten.

The rest of the day Sunday was brutal, as I just wanted to go to sleep.  But I stayed up long enough to watch "Once Upon a Time" and then went straight to sleep, awakened by my alarm Monday morning at 0600.

It was truly a first class trip, in terms of accommodations, meals, and travel.  Additionally, it was a top-flight intellectual experience.  We got to talk with some really smart people, and we learned a great deal about a part of the world few of us know well. I can tell you straight out though, that I am not sure I'd ever fly that far again UNLESS is was in biz class.

So, consider this trip wrapped.  Thanks for your interest.

The Hammer's College Football Review: Week 7

First off I'd like to congratulate CW on his just concluded trip to Taiwan. After seeing the photo of him shaking hands with the ROC Prez, well it's pretty clear he's world-class. But before you go getting a big head CW (I know, THAT train left the station ages ago!) just remember, in Tickbite you're just another God-damn Yankee!

Ok that's done, now on to the important stuff. Sorry but I gotta get on my soapbox a minute. Did you see that Georgia Bulldog Todd Hurley was suspended? That's right he was selling his autograph for twenty bucks a pop. Of course in the UGA bookstore you can buy his jersey for $120.00 and he gets squat, but hey, he signed the scholarship contract so screw him!
When are these idiots gonna learn? I heard on the radio that during the Ed O'Bannon trial dealing with this very subject an NCAA official testified that the NCAA was actually doing players a favor with this set up, protecting them from exploitation don't you know. Exploitation by one to prevent exploitation by another, gee sounds like absolute bullshit to me but then again I'm not a lawyer.
What is a kid to do for money? Some of these guys come from homes without a pot to piss in. They can't work, they can't sell their likeness or jersey or tickets or any damned thing, so how do they get their spending money? Well however they do it you can cool believe it's illegal under the Neo-Fascist NCAA. Why not just give them s stipend of say $300 a month? Makes sense right? They're a revenue producing sport (really BIG revenue) so give 'em a couple of bucks. Not gonna happen friends. The lesbians on the b-ball team would scream bloody friggin' murder, the golf team would want lifetime memberships to Firestone or Pinehurst and eventually the theatre group would want to be paid for their awe inspiring performance of Guys and Dolls, that's why not. So now we have a situation where maybe the best running back in college football is on the bench and Jameis Winston will start for FSU next Saturday, after attending a rape allegation hearing on Wednesday.

Ok, enough bullshit let's talk football. Man O man did you catch the Auburn Missississippi State game? I thought Auburn was the best but the Bulldog offense was kick-friggin-ass. It's was kinda ragged with four turnovers each way, but State made the most of them. It was a really entertaining game and more evidence that the SEC is the best and Miss State may be the best of the best. Their cheerleaders ain't bad either (Girls of the SEC, Nov. 2011). Speaking of Missississippi Ole Miss ain't looking bad either! They put a spanking on Texas A&M which is in no way a pushover. Can't wait for these two to tangle!
I didn't see the TCU Baylor game, just the highlights, but I wish I had recorded it. I'm usually not that big a fan of shootouts but hey, that's the game these days. TCU had this one but couldn't hold on. Petty had a bad game last week and his confidence was a little shaky, but Baylor reeled off three touchdowns in the fourth quarter to rob the Horney Frogs out of possibly the playoffs. I was hearing noises about TCU being the best team in college football, and they are good, they just lost their composure. But ain't that the great thing about college? They're just kids and they'll shock the shit out of you going and coming. Sometimes good sometimes bad.
In ACC action Duke got the Ga. Tech monkey off their back with a victory in Bobby Dodd, the Heels went to South Bend and played the Irish reasonably tough but still got 50 points hung on their cheating asses, the Pack lost to BC at home (so much for this year) and FSU won on the road at Syracuse. Out little snot-nosed brother school ECU (the best team in the state probably) kicked ass in South Florida which is actually in central Florida (Tampa) and not really South Florida unless you're a redneck and don't count all those blow-ins, Haitians and Cubans down in Palm Beach, Broward and Dade, in which case Tampa IS South Florida...I guess, in a roundabout way.
In the Big Ten Michigan State whipped Purdue in what was a pretty good game, they're the cream of that degenerated conference. Lookie lookie, Michigan beat up on Penn State, there is life in that old dog yet. The Gophers outscored Northwestern so I guess they ain't for real, just spoilers.
The Shepherd University Rams remain undefeated at 6-0 and 9th. in their little poll, but they play Notre Dame next week so who knows?

Goodbye Auburn, hello Missississippi. By the way, I'll be out of town next week, the Dalai Lama wants to hook up in Monte Carlo and I thought I'd visit my friends over at the Palais Princier (haven't been in a while). But not to worry, I'll still be blogging with daily updates of my trip (got up, brushed my teeth, took a dump, worried about jock-itch etc., stuff like that).
C-ya and in no way, shape, form or fashion would I want to be ya!