Sunday, January 4, 2015

Musings. Ramblings and Reflections for the New Year

I don't do resolutions, at least personal resolutions. At my age if I haven't quit this or started that then it ain't likely to happen anyway. I need to lose some weight...well no shit? I've known that for months (years). I need to at least cut down on the drinking and smoking...but where's the fun in that? I ask you dear reader, would you rather live a fulfilling life with a few minor vices and a devotion to God (in my own Redneck, snake-handling way) or live an austere and miserable existence of martyrdom and self-denial? I didn't sign up for the Franciscan Friars, besides hair-shirts do nothing for my coloring (I'm an autumn). So there you have it, my New Year resolution is to keep on keeping on and try to keep 'er between the ditches. If I do that I'll be ok.

So, whatta ya think about the bowls? I think the Big Ten got a scare is what I think. They came within a whisker of not going to the playoffs and as I've mentioned before, no league is more proud of their football tradition than the Big Ten. They made a statement this year and that was we are not only as good but BETTER than everybody else (and screw you SEC!). OK, I'm down with that but if Ohio State gets run off the field by the lightening quick (or is it quack) Webfeets of Oregon then that "statement" won't mean nothing. I'll say this though, I haven't paid that much attention to the Buckeyes this year after they lost to VPI in the Shoe, but if THAT is their third string quarterback then Great Googly Moogly, I wonder how good their first and second were. The guy looked like Cam Newton on Breaking Bad blue meth.

On a serious note one year ago today my brother-in-law took his own life. Rob was a troubled individual who never got it going. I've never met a more intelligent, talented and personable individual and I've never seen a bigger waste of a life. Rob was, in my two courses of college psychology opinion, bi-polar. Great one day (or minute) and a literal demon the next day (or minute). I've never seen that kind of pointless, out of control rage.
I look back like most would and think perhaps I could have handled him differently, but he was too smart to be "handled". I tried to teach him things that any father would have long since taught his son (I felt like a surrogate father sometimes), things that he shockingly didn't know, and he would often times respond favorable but to my and everyone else's regret he would always revert to form...that form being self medicating with drugs and alcohol....lots and lots of alcohol!
We've all experienced emotional pain and know that it can be much worse than physical pain, but I don't think any of us can understand the acute, relentless turmoil of the emotionally disturbed (images of Milton's Pandemonium come to mind). Problems like this require professional intervention and if said individual won't accede to that, then there's not much to be done. I learned early on you cannot save someone from themselves... but we all tried anyway... to no avail. I guess we just didn't know what else to do.
So here's thinking of you Rob, you just about drove me and everyone else crazy but nevertheless I miss you terribly. I hope God gave you the peace you never had on Earth.


The Conservative Wahoo said...

Bravo, Hammer. Bravo.

Anonymous said...

From a book titled, "A River Runs Through It" comes these words that I send your way today.

“Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.”
― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It and Other Stories

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