-Marco Rubio will defeat Charlie Crist in the FL GOP Senate Primary. Conservatives will cheer, and gallons of ink will spill to again ask the question ‘is there room in the Republican Party for moderates?’
-Brett Favre, in a departure from his previous five off-seasons, will NOT hold forty-nine press conferences to announce he hasn’t made a decision about retirement yet. He will return to the Vikings. But in keeping with his previous five off-seasons, the diva will find a way out of training camp.
-Michael Steele will finally do or say something so outrageous that he must step down.
-Ben Bradlee will pass away. Media figures nationwide will gather to effusively praise him and by extension themselves for their belief in their own greatness. Sally Quinn will be feted like Mother Teresa.
-Philip Rivers will edge out Drew Brees as NFL MVP.
-Robert Gibbs will step down as White House Press Secretary. Chuck Todd of NBC will replace him.
-Ann Coulter will not become the fifth co-host of The View. (I needed to guarantee I got at least one right).
-Mitch Daniels and John Thune will replace Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty as the most discussed GOP prospects for 2012.
-Harry Reid will be defeated in a squeaker…and Chuck ‘I don’t need to turn my phone off, bitch’ Schumer will become the new Senate Majority Leader. God help us.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
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1 comment:
I like the "Philip Rivers will edge out Drew Brees as NFL MVP" prediction. Every forty years or so State produces a great quarterback (remember Roman Gabriel?). Plus Brees is an asshole playing on a overrated team in a shithole town full of welfare bums, druggies and killers. Other than that I like Brees OK.
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