Sunday, November 17, 2013

Could It Happen Again? The Hammer's College Football Week in Review.

I know I know, but you have to admit David Cutcliffe has got it GOING ON over at Duke University (otherwise known as the University of New Jersey Sud). The Dookies are 8-2 and have beaten Va. Tech in Blacksburg and Miami at home, handily I might add. Now I'm not looking for Duke to play 'Bama or anything, but hey, if this ain't a top 25 team then the polls are wrong. And if there's any Volunteer fans reading this, my sympathies...SUCKERS!

Ok let's head West. Did I say something last week about the best team on the left coast being Stanford? May I revise that statement please? There ain't no "best team" out West. Souther Cal got a late field goal to give Stanford their second loss and ruin any wild dreams they may have had about playing for the Big 'Un. You may recall USC has been in a funk this year after athletic director Pat Haden pulled Boy Wonder Lane Kiffin off the bus at LAX , took him into the Ambassadors Lounge (CW was probably there drinking a latte) and summarily fired his ass! But I hear Kiffin is big into Amway now so at least he landed on his feet. Anyway, interim head coach Ed Oregon, eh Oberon...Origami...crap, let me look it up...ORGERON is making the case for the job. We'll see.  

Did you see the Auburn-Georgia game? What a shootout! The War Eagles got lucky as a dog with two penises when they hit a 70+ yard bomb with twenty odd seconds on the clock. This was really a case of poor coaching. The Georgia safety was trying to catch the ball (presumably to get that INT and jack his numbers) and the cornerback (with zero field awareness) was in pass defense mode and slapped the ball up in the air. The Auburn wideout was 2 yards out of the play in a dead sprint and the ball plopped right in his hands, he didn't even break stride on the way to the endzone. The Georgia coaching staff all fell over like the Fort Knox scene in Goldfinger...poor bastards! But this sets up an Alabama/Auburn game like we haven't seen in a long while. Auburn is 10-1 and a win over the Tide puts them right where they want to be. Can't wait for this one.

Ohio State won (who cares?) Oklahoma beat Iowa State (big deal!) and Texas lost to Ok. St. (goodbye Mack Brown). Hey, did you catch Louisville and Houston? On a goal line play one of the Cardinal tackles grabs a safety's face mask and the guy took immediate offense and slugged the lineman twice. Now in my view punching someone with a football helmet on will not achieve the desired results, and a 180 lbs. safety should probably not get into a slugfest with a 290 lbs. lineman (just saying), especially right in front of the line judge (there was so much laundry on the field it looked like an Irish tenement after a windstorm). But the kid was ejected so he turned a face mask penalty for the good into a touchdown for the other guys and gets his ass kicked out of the game to boot. I'm thinking Coach ain't gonna appreciate this come Monday and I'm also thinking this fool will be running laps until Tuesday.

In ACC play (I feel compelled to talk about it) a mediocre Boston College partied hardy with the Wolfpack 38-21. No surprise there but BC's Andre Williams ran for 339 yards in front of an "energetic" crowd of 31,000 (according to the Boston Herald). THIRTY ONE THOUSAND, in a town of at least a couple of mil? Would someone please tell me why the hell we let these chumps into the ACC? My league corrupted by a bunch of Mass-holes and there ain't even that many of them! They're nothing but a bunch of ill-bredded, Irish-Catholic Notre Dame wannabe Southie scum and they're defiling MY beloved ACC. John Swofford if I ever meet you in person it's your hillbilly ass pal! COUNT ON IT!

Well there you have it. Oh, Virginia had a bye week and they take on a wounded and embarrassed Miami Hurricane squad next week in South Florida. Good luck with that one. So C-ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

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