Monday, December 22, 2008

2009 Predictions

Well, Postcards from the Backbench beat me to it, as I was going to wait until after Christmas to release my predictions. But since he's on record, I need to keep up with the Jones':

--On December 31, 2009, the Dow Jones Industrial average will be above 10,200
--On December 31, 2009, unemployment will be at 6.6%, on a downward trend
--The BCS will announce a playoff system to begin with the 2011 season
--Israel will not attack Iran (directly) in 2009, Iran will not attack Israel (directly)
--Israel will be involved in another war in Southern Lebanon
--Brad Pitt will win a "Best Actor" Oscar
--Hillary Clinton will withdraw her name from consideration for Secretary of State after an uproar following new disclosures of her husband's post-presidential dealings with foreign powers
--at least one major newspaper (that is, one of the top ten in circulation) will cease to publish in 2009. No one will notice.
--Ten thousand US troops will be deployed somewhere in the world in support of some humanitarian operation (not in the US)
--The average price of unleaded regular in the US will be $2.96
--The US will announce unilateral reductions in its Strategic Nuclear forces to less than 1400 warheads. The nuclear triad will be disestablished, with all our strategic forces moving to submarines and manned bombers.
--Lindsay Lohan will return to a strictly heterosexual life
--On 31 December 2009, there will be less than 90,000 US troops in Iraq, but there will be 45,000 in Afghanistan

That should be enough for now.


Beyond Bibb's Store said...

Not a bad list. Pitt doesn't have a chance...Sean Penn's a lock for Best Actor. Hollyweird loves gay drama....on and off screen. Brokeback Politics wins Best Picture in a landslide.

ho ho ho

Goldwater's Ghost said...

Ooo, good ones!

#9 - Darfur.

Blanchett will get best actress. I say Best Picture goes to Slumlord Millionaire, and I haven't even seet it yet.

Anonymous said...

It wouldn't surprise me in the least to see someone in the newspaper industry stretch their hand out for a bailout, which will start a wave. I'm not joking.

Anonymous said...

CW - remember watching "THS - Lindsay Lohan" during my visit? My prediciton is that one of the Hollywood Tartletts will expire in 2009...

Mudge said...

Every one of the Victoria Secret super models will stop calling me at home or at work as of 0001 1 Jan 09. Finally, some peace.

wahooligan said...

So I'll throw this one out to the crowd... of this list, which will pose for Playboy in 2009...Britney Spears, Christina Agulara, Lindsey Lohan, and add your fav 20something?

Goldwater's Ghost said...

UPDATE: Sorry, it's Slumdog Millionaire, and I still haven't seen it yet...

Mudge said...

hmmm. something has gone terribly wrong here. the victoria's secret supermodels appear to have already stopped calling me. my prediction was a week too late. and it turns out peace isn't all it's cracked up to be.

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