Monday, October 31, 2011

A Pox Be Upon the Lazy Gator Crowd

The Kitten and I did what modern parents and sorta parents do these days, and that is walk about with our children for Halloween.  Why this is, I simply don't know, but that's the way it is.  I don't remember Jimmy Wires trick or treating with us when I was a kid, at least when I was a kid who could spell and not wet my bed.  But now, it is a big social event, and we met up at a friend's house, had a wonderful meal with other parents who felt obligated--no, strike that--they wanted to walk about with their kids.  And then we set out to trick or treat.

We live on Maryland's Eastern Shore, and it is a relatively rural life.  Our little hamlet of Easton is the county seat, and it is a bucolic little town.  We are out in the county, amid the corn, soy bean and sunflower fields.  We trick or treat with friends in their "neighborhood" of maybe 40 houses, (an overhead shot is here, with the neighborhood being left of center along the water) which can be circumnavigated in about twenty minutes on foot.  It's quite a scene, with about twenty goblins, ghosts, wonderwomen, cowgirls and a respectable Joey Ramone flitting about the dark streets.  That's where the rant comes in.

There are lazy Josephuses who put their kids in the back of their Gators (we are one of the few respectable Talbot County farms without such a vehicle) and DRIVE this tiny little circuit.  Of course, they pull all the way into the driveways and then BACK OUT when the troop of little trick or treaters are trying to gain access to the loot.  It makes for a very annoying and slightly dangerous evening of what should be somewhat inebriated adult fun.

C'mon folks.  Get your fat asses out of the Gators and walk--if you must accompany your children.


Anonymous said...

Next year, get a Gator, dress it up as the Pope Mobile, allow the kittens to dress as nuns with you as the Pope.

Sally said...

Taking the kids trick or treating in a Gator sounds EXACTLY like something you would do.

Tom de Plum said...

Wow, our neighborhood golf cart owners had to sell their vehicles in order to make the mortgage payments.

"The Hammer" said...

If I had one of them things you can cool believe I'd be riding around on it come Halloween. Screw walking.

We got not one trick or treater last night. Of course it was pissing rain and there are only three houses on my street so I wasn't expecting many. Sgt. Major says I'm the biggest candy chump in town. A few years ago I gave away 4 or 5 bags of "fun size" snickers and stuff to the first 8 or 10 kids. Man I was loading 'em up. And news travels fast, the kids starting hitting our house repeatedly. I had one teenager ride up on a bike with a pillow case. You could tell the kid was about 17 but he weighed about 200 lbs. and looked like a bouncer. I gave him a couple of butterfingers and told him if he came back I was gonna taser his ass.

Mudge said...

Anon - won't work. The kittens get delivered in more feline transportation--Jaguar.

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