Sunday, December 23, 2012

Annual Christmas Party Horror

As many of you know, I am "Mr. Christmas".  I love everything about the season.  In college, my decorations went up the day after Halloween.  I am obsessed with Christmas music.  I love the smell of Christmas candles.  You get the picture.

Most years, I hold a Christmas Party, though I haven't had one for four years. We came close last year, but the renovation wasn't completely done, and so the Kitten put the kibosh on the idea.  The two previous years, the house was being renovated, or was in need of renovation.

The last party I had was in my Crystal City apartment in 2009.  I gave up the apartment soon after, but it was a typical, city-fied party in a decent sized apartment.  Good bartenders, finger food, lamely decorated apartment.  Everyone had fun.  Most people were return attendees.

This year's party was different.  Since "my" people and "the Kitten's" people were coming, my style of party was clearly not in the cards.  Whereas I would take the nice shrimp wheel from Harris Teeter and lay it down on the table (minus its clear plastic cover), Talbot County standard dictated its being laid out on an appropriate serving platter. This approach conveyed throughout all aspects of the party.

The result?  Magnificence.  The Kitten worked her ass off and decorated our house beautifully.  I handled the alcohol, the caterer and the parking guy.

Only problem was, my physiology decided to get in the way.  I awoke yesterday and began to distribute bodily waste through all available exits.  At 1130, after a trip to the Acme and a parking lot vomit, I came home and told the Kitten I was going to bed for two hours.  The party started at 3, so that meant I was stiffing her in the home-stretch.  Not my best moment.

Our party was 3-7; I made it until 5pm.  I said goodbye to a few good friends and family members, then went up to bed--yes, once again stiffing the Kitten.

I awoke today at noon, weakened and dehydrated, but generally better.

For those of you who came and either didn't see me or saw me walking around like something from a Stephen King novel, I am sorry.  I hope you enjoyed yourselves.

The Kitten?  She outdid herself.  She never wanted to have the party in the first place, but she did it for me.  And I took a knee.

Hopefully a better performance next year.


"The Hammer" said...

That sounds like a good woman you got there. But be thankful for small favors, at least your blogging buddies (specifically me) didn't show up. I can ruin a party in less than an hour (especially if the women are wearing low cut dresses).
Anyway, I wish you a speedy recover and Happy Christmas to everyone.

Mudge said...

Oh, don't worry Mr. Christmas, the excitement and stress of the holidays can get the best of anyone. Hope your tummy is feeling better soon.

Seriously, I hope you and the kittens have a GREAT Christmas and that you are back in fighting form in no time.

BigFred said...

Usually when something like this happens, the distinctive blue/green box from Tiffanys is a nice way to get back off the couch and in to the bed.

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