Thursday, December 2, 2010

What A Man Should Be Able To Do

Saw this on Facebook, a listing of the 50 things every man should be able to do.  For the record I cannot do the following:

46--Fry a turkey.  Probably can, just haven't.

33--Build a fire.  In a fireplace, yes. 

29--Choose a scotch/whiskey.  I'm simply out of practice.

20--Play poker.  Not a card player.
11--Open a bottle unconventionally.  Don't wish to.

9--Off road without flipping the ATV.  ATV?  Me?  Hell no.

Ok fellas, where do you come up short?


Ken Adams said...

29 - Choose a scotch/whiskey
Never acquired the taste. May go on the to-do list for after the kids have moved out.

27 - Pick-up a girl using your dog as a wingman
Didn't have a dog when eligible, never tested the skill.

25 - Perform CPR
On the to do list, training with the scouts this winter.

21 - Dance
No rhythm in this body. Can stand on floor and hold wife while swaying, does that count?

9 - Off-road without flipping the ATV
Probably could do this, but not tested.

"The Hammer" said...

Everything on that list I at least once could do or never had the desire to do anyway.
Bong a beer? That went out with Animal House. Now drinking a yard requires skill. That would be worth doing.
Picking up a chick with a dog in tow? I don't know, sounds very Mexican whore-house to me.
Pick up a woman with a one liner. It was my experience if the girl liked you any line would do (delivered with charm and humor, qualities I possess in abundance), if she didn't, forget it, no line will work.
And what's all this changing flat tires and cooking breakfast and ironing shirts nonsense. Hell man that's why you picked up the woman in the first place.

SamShapiro said...

I'm calling BS on you CW. When have you ever used a chainsaw, electric ones don't count.

BigFred said...

I can do all that, plus field strip an M-1 Garand.

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Sam--I've used a chainsaw several times. Though I've only put up a tent twice...

Bruce said...

I've had a tent in my shorts many times.

Anonymous said...

The idea that CW had to approve posts like the one from Bruce is hilarious.

Doc Milnamo said...

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

Robert Heinlein

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