Friday, September 30, 2011

Panera Bread: A Cafe with a Conscience

The CEO of Panera Bread, being a good liberal and all around sweet guy, decided to conduct a social experiment at three of his stores. He thought it would be fun if customers paid what they will. For example, if a wealthy housewife decided her Frontega Chicken panini was worth a C-note, then by Jove put the money in the jar. If a college student felt like paying two bits for his hot, cheesy and delicious Asiago Bagel and La Lapa coffee from the Central Valley of Costa Rica, well so be it.

It was a brilliant idea but somehow it just didn't work out. It seems the homeless, indigent and insane decided Panera Bread was just the place for their next soirĂ©e! Come one come all and you'll love the price...and they did. The Portland location ended up hiring a “community outreach associate” which is to an upscale cafe what a big hairy bouncer is to a tittie bar. The CEO (obviously devastated by the experience) said “There’s a palpable sense of people in pain attracted to our store” and many have a "sense of entitlement". Really? Who could have foreseen this?

Alas it seems humane nature and those pesky laws of economics will not bow to the altruistic and generous ethos of our more progressive corporate citizens.


Sally said...

That's great stuff Hammer.

It reminded me of the airport in Meridian Mississippi. It's been many years since I was there, but to park there, it was a dollar, whether you parked for ten minutes or for a week. And it was all honor system, no attendant, only a small metal box affixed to the fence as you left the parking area. (I always wondered if that trust motivated people to do the right thing.)

unbbl said...

Yeah, good stuff Hammer. Can't stand your other crap but this was actually good.

"The Hammer" said...

Schlag mich unbbl.

Mudge said...

How does someone that stupid achieve even a moment's success in business?

Despite what the liberals would have you believe, being a CEO is hard work and requires someone whose brain is firing on all cylinders, in my experience. All I can figure is this guy must have surrounded himself with people a heck of a lot smarter than he is and delegated most of the decision making to them as well.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, this is the best thing
I've read all day. The socialist
creed, from each according to his
ability to each according to his need never seems to work out. Don't try to teach this to a liberal though....

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