Thursday, October 25, 2012

Desperate Housewives of Wake County

This is a photograph of one Debra Goldman. Ms. Goldman is the Republican nominee for North Carolina State Auditor (most cabinet positions here are elected not appointed). Ms. Goldman is not an accountant. She has no financial or business experience. In fact she has no particular expertise of any kind that would recommend her for the job apart from being (by all accounts) very friendly and available.

Ms. Goldman started her political career as a "housewife" on the Wake County School Board. She was elected in response to obstinate liberal Democrats who insisted kids be bused from one side of the county to the others so as to maintain "diversity". But after a lot of hard work battling the mayor, city government, the liberal Democratic establishment, the local media and various and sundry leftist interest groups (mostly funded from out of state) the Republicans were able to win the slimmest of majorities on the school board in 2009. And true to their word after a year of studies and hearings, they came up with a plan that would encourage neighborhood schools and provide a good well-rounded education for all students; and one that wouldn't require 7 year olds to be at the bus stop at 5:30 AM.

When the vote came up it was a foregone conclusion the new student assignment plan would pass 5-4 along party lines. But not so fast my friend, Ms. Goldman inexplicably changed her vote. Everybody, and I mean everybody was flabbergasted. What happened? Of course she came up with some lame excuse about needing more input from the effected communities blah blah blah, and as you might imagine the previously demoralized liberals were absolutely ecstatic. But to the intelligent discerning observer this stunk to high heaven.

Fast forward two years and Murphy's Law rears its ugly head. My personal life experience is that if you get up to no good eventually it will all come out, and at the worst possible time. And so it goes with Ms. Goldman. In the midst of all this busy school reorganization business it seems she was having a torrid love affair with fellow board member, and current candidate for NC House, Chris Malone (Mr. Malone described their relationship as "very heated", I'm getting a chubby just thinking about it!). And a few days prior to this huge aforementioned vote that would effect a billion dollar budget and 150,000 Wake County school children, Ms. Goldman named Mr. Malone as the prime suspect in a burglary at her residence with $20,000 in rare coins and $130,000 in jewelry reportedly missing. Mr. Malone was questioned by police and the crime remains unsolved. So, where are we now? Even though these two idiot's affair was "common knowledge" to other board members (of both parties, which means the local media had to have know all about it) the story doesn't break until two weeks ago or one month before the general election. That gives everybody just enough time to speculate as to why Ms. Goldman changed her vote at the last minute and to review her (and Mr. Malone's) qualifications for state wide office.

This whole story is as convoluted and sordid as a John Edwards' autobiography. What was the NC Republican Party thinking allowing these two clowns to run for higher office? They're not going to hurt Mitt Romney or Pat McCrory, but they could hurt down ticket races (at least two certainly).  And it's the job of the party to vet these people. You don't want married people who have a platinum frequent flyer card at the Motel 6 running for anything. This woman is obviously crazy and bitter and scorned and vindictive, you know, like most of the women we've dumped in our lives. And the guy's judgement stinks. He's a married man and he's running around getting his ass named as a grand larceny "person of interest" and getting it splashed all over the news? And both of these fools are on the ballot of what could potentially be a landslide election for the Republicans? Good Lord, are there any adults in the room?

In the past year the NC Democratic Party tried to fire their chairman because he covered up and then protected the job of a party functionary who was sued for sexual harassment (male on male). Said individual brought home AIDS to his girlfriend. But what are people talking about now? Bingo...the Republicans.  

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