Sunday, March 7, 2010

Sex at Oxford

Some interesting stats here, though the finding that History majors get more action than others is a well-known universal truth.

Only 81% masturbate regularly. In college. Bloody English are so boring they don't even know how to do that right.

H/T: Instapundit

10 comments:

Hugh Grant said...

I resent that. The other 19% of us blokes watch.

"The Hammer" said...

Speaking of jerkoffs, The Tar Heels lost by 32 point to the Dukies last night. My goodness, they're singing "Why Baby Why" on Franklin St. these days. And, UVA took a bite of the shit sandwich as well losing to Maryland, but come on, who cares?
This has actually been a down year for the ACC and college basketball in general. Everybody sucks.

In light of that I propose a few rule changes (NCAA listen up!).

1.) No freshman eligibility. The transition to college is too great and these are first and foremost institutions of learning (I know, play along); therefore, a student/athlete needs no distractions his or her first year.
2.) If an individual accepts a scholarship and enrolls at a school, said individual will not be eligible to play any sport for any compensation whatsoever until his or her class graduates. This will be condition of the scholarship contract.
3.) Beginning in their sophomore year, all student/athletes will be given a stipend in recognition of their long hours and dedication to their sport. All scholarship athletes will receive the stipend in the same amounts regardless of sport or sex (notice I didn't say gender, that ain't what that word means). The stipend amount will vary from school to school depending on local conditions but conform to to NCAA guidelines.

The point of this is to remind the NBA and others that the colleges are not a farm system. If the NBA chooses to sign a prospect of any age at any time they can certainly do that. But if an individual accepts a scholarship at a college or university then they have obligations to that institution. And part of that obligation is to become an educated productive member of society, not a pistol toting, tatted up, half-assed gangbanger who happens to be proficient at a bastardized form of basketball more suited to the South Bronx than the Boston Celtics.

Legon said...

Any additional evidence needed for Hammer's need to start his own blog? What does this have to do with the original post?

"The Hammer" said...

Hey he was talking about serial masturbators wasn't he? I though I made a reasonable segue. What a nitpicking little tight-ass you are.


Ok damnit, I'll start another blog. But I can't use "The Hammer". It's a worn out, overused alias which I sorta picked on the fly. Help me pick a new name. Let's see, off the top of my head how 'bout "Crackerboy". It's racially derogatory and remarkably descriptive. Nearly perfect... but is it available?

Dan said...

If 81% admit to masturbating, the other 19% are lying.

Anonymous said...

"Finally, there is the bowler, tuxedo, and monocle, symbols of a refined, intellectual conservatism, or what I seek to encourage here."

I guess that Navy tattoo is significantly counteracting the preceding intention.

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Not anymore than the UVA tattoo on my left arm detracts from those qualities in me.

Mark Gorenflo said...

I am glad that my college (New) and my course of study (PPE) ranked high in the sexual Norrington Tables. I did not reflect my experience there 25 years ago though, sadly......

The Conservative Wahoo said...

The times they are a-changin' Mark.

Dave Schultz said...

If The Hammer starts his own blog, do you promise that you'll link to it CW?

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