Thursday, November 29, 2012

A Shame That I Did Not Win Powerball

For those concerned, I wanted to let you know that I was not a holder of one of the two winning tickets for last night's Powerball drawing.

I think this is unfortunate, for many reasons.

The first is that all things considered, I'd be a pretty darn good rich guy.  I like cigars.  I like nice cars.  I like nice meals.  I wear classic, well-made (but not flashy or expensive) suits. I am not a profligate spender, and since I turned 35, I've done a pretty good job saving money.  Before that, I lived by the English soccer star George Best's motto "I spent half my money on women and alcohol, and the rest I wasted."  I'm also not an idiot when it comes to investing, so the money would probably be pretty well stewarded.

Next, my family is all in pretty decent shape.  Therefore, you wouldn't have to be treated to those ridiculous, syrupy stories of me putting all my nieces and nephews through college, or paying off  their parents' mortgages.  Nothing like that.  Not that I wouldn't be generous, mind you.  No sir...those nieces and nephews would see their annual Christmas gift card go from $50 to $75 in a New York minute!  Next time, maybe.

Mom and Dad are in good shape too, so no reason to siphon off any of the money for their well-being.  Though, Dad needs to cut back on the yard work....maybe I'll buy him a leaf blower.

Some of you might think, "hey CW, you live on the water--bet you'd waste a bunch of that cash on a nice new boat."  Not so fast.  Truth is, I'm a pretty bad boat handler.  In fact, the Kitten does all the pier-work in our Whaler, and she does most of the inner-tube pulling, and she does most of the transits to St. Michaels for meals.....she pretty much does all the driving.  I bet she'd buy a new boat if she won the lottery.  Not this guy.

Speaking of the Kitten, one of the wonderful things about her is she's not a jewelery or clothes-horse.  So I wouldn't waste any of the loot there.

As for travel, I'd do it right.  You'd be proud of me.  I would pay someone to travel with the Kitten and the Kittens to meet me wherever we were going.  This person would schlep bags, wait at security, look at shiny things in stores, and help them stow the bags they should have checked in the overhead compartment.  After take-off, I'd go back to coach every now and then to say hello to them, and then I'd have the hotel room all ready for them once they collected all their stuff.

Where I might get a little crazy is in buying a second house.  Probably be in Charlottesville; my "September-March" house.  I'd watch football and basketball games.  Buy myself a spot on the Board of Visitors at UVA and cause a ruckus now and then.

But alas, none of this is going to happen.  Instead, some retiree from Missoula will win $500M and buy a Winnebago to drive their grandchildren around in.



"The Hammer" said...

So I guess a loan is out of the question?

Sally said...

What a lovely sentiment that you'd pay someone to play valet for your family when you travel. After all, why should you bother with such a venture?

I too am disappointed at not winning Powerball. The fact that I did not buy tickets for such a foolish venture did not, oddly, abate my disappointment.

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