Tuesday, January 12, 2010

On Waiting

Or is it more properly, "waitering". That is, the act of taking a meal order at a restaurant and providing the contents of the order along with other situational needs of the diner.

There's a little story in the WaPost today about the decline of the "memorizing" waiter. That is, the true professional of the past who would take the table's orders, internalize them, and return in due time with what was desired. According to the Post, this practice is on the decline, and the restaurant owners interviewed affix blame squarely on....us...the eating public. One goes as far as to blame the Food Network for creating a nation of individual tastes that that drive picky, special orders that defy the ability of the average waiter to memorize.

I don't agree with this article at all--in fact, I think the practice of waiters trying to memorize orders is ON THE RISE, not the decline. How do I know? Because it is a practice that has achieved near "pet peeve" status. I cannot tell you what the likelihood of a waiter who has not written down my order to screw it up is, but I can tell you that it is far higher than those who have written it down. My own neurotic approach to this subject has gotten so bad that if I am at a restaurant where the waiter does not write it down, I'll sit there silently stewing, just WAITING for them to screw it up. I know, I know. Evolve Bryan, evolve.

I frankly would much rather there be little tablet computers at tables that enable me to order and pay without interacting with a human. The order would be wirelessly conveyed to the kitchen, and the food would be brought out by the delivery staff. Want another glass of water? Hit that button. Want a napkin--got one for that.

Oh, and another near pet-peeve. The bill comes to $17.93 and you give the waiter two twenties. He then looks at you and says something like "do you need any change back?" ARGH. No---your service has been so astounding that I'm going to tip you at a rate over 100 %. Of course I want change. Bring it to me and I'LL determine the tip.

10 comments:

Dee Snyder said...

CW - I'm sure you could write a whole entire blog about your dining experiences. Even when the waitperson writes the order down, you still wait for them to screw it up.

The only place where I don't worry about someone not writing down my order is a Chinese restaurant. Not some hip PF Chang kind of place, but a REAL Chinese restaurant. Those waiters make me nervous, especially if you have a big group -- they always seem to get it right, though!

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Dee--maybe you're right.

I have, on the occasion of truly bad service, written notes on the bill. They go something like "You started with a 20% tip--that is my default. That you had to be reminded to bring the lady's wine was strike one. That you did not bring the mayo I asked for is strike two. That you brought me a cup of soup without a soup spoon is strike three. That's why you get a 10% tip."

Tubby McG said...

Had I the means to frequent the caliber of dining establishments that of man of your station is used to, I am sure I would have similar pet peeves.

My annoyance is with the server who sits down at my table to take the order. This custom seems to have started (I hear) in the Hooters chain. Even in that case, I do not care how hot the waitress may be, she is not a member of my dining party.

sessess said...

CW, you're a tough man. Those are grounds for 15 percent, unless you got an attitude along with it. I like the idea of the note.

sessess said...

Dee, not only do they get it right each and every time, take a sip of your water and they fill it right back up.

"The Hammer" said...

Maybe you should go to places where the walls aren't lined with video games. Just kidding.
Hey what's the best restaurant experience you've ever had? I'm not talking the most expensive necessarily, but the most surprisingly good be it value for money or the food...whatever.

Goldwater's Ghost said...

"I frankly would much rather there be little tablet computers at tables that enable me to order and pay without interacting with a human."

You must be loads of laughs at parties.

Mudge said...

We have Americans in two wars, every day committing acts of great heroism. How often do you think the editors of our major news outlets (print, broadcast or other) argue over which one of those stories to make "front page news" or "lead story" or for that matter, to give it any coverage at all? I don't know. The waiter "story" makes for a quaint little discussion, but front page, above the fold with full photo? Really?

SeanW said...

On the mention of Hooters, I stopped in one while driving back to DC from Tidewater to catch my alma mater (GW) playing in the NCAAs. My realization was that at my age, I would probably find my server's Mom pretty hot too.

M.L.Daniels said...

I agree that servers should always write down orders. People rarely want the menu item as it's listed in the menu, so any smart server would jot down what the guest wants. Heaven forbid the order comes out the way the menu describes it! As for the change issue, absolutely that server should bring you the change from the two twenties on your $17 tab! Better yet, give the server a hundred! Everyone knows a restaurant is a great place to get change for your twenties and such, I mean we all know that the primary purpose of any business is to make change for its customers!

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