Monday, January 25, 2010

Why We Can't Have Nice Things

A bit of advice, even if you are about to go a&% over tea kettle onto a marble floor, maybe don't grab for the $130 million Picasso to break your fall. What?

19 comments:

Stephen Monteith said...

Well, at least this'll make it harder to counterfeit in the future.

"The Hammer" said...

I would have taken her out back and beaten her to within an inch of her life, then dumped her in the Bowery. Lost her balance my ass.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're a very tough guy. I bet you're fun with kids too.

"The Hammer" said...

As a young man in Amsterdam, me and a couple of pals got smoked up and wondered into a Van Gogh museum. I didn't know Van Gogh from Van Halen. The paintings were so rough. I was rubbing my hands over them saying things like "look at all the paint this idiot wasted". I guess I'm real tactile when I'm high. Well, we got thrown out on our asses in very short order; thought it was hilarious.

Since then I've taken a very hard line on art desecration. We are just passing through this life. Art is the real wealth of mankind.

So there you have it, now -uck off!

Anonymous said...

You break it you buy it.

Mudge said...

I don't care who painted it or when. Tearing a picture of an undernourished guy wearing pink leotards just doesn't evoke much more than a yawn out of me.

Mudge said...

BTW, great title, Robert.

"The Hammer" said...

Here's the thing Mudge, Picasso was a rock star, and he got more ass than a toilet seat.

There's a little museum in Antibes, France (Musee Picaso) that's very nice. He hung out there a few years with his mistress who was a third his age. And he later dumped her for a seventeen year old! All the while producing some of the greatest, most significant art in the history of great and significant art.

Point being, who could not like this guy? His legacy must be protected. And if some fat KFC eating heifer "loses her balance" and wrecks one of his paintings I say whip her ass. The dumb bitch deserves it.

Fetch said...

Bobby T I gotta agree with Mudge. You're title captures the spirit of mothers everywhere.

Anonymous said...

I certainly doubt Hammers story about his pals.

"The Hammer" said...

Doubt all you want, it's true. Why would I lie numbnuts? All it was was a mildly humorous story about a bunch of young guys doing something dumb and stupid.

Anonymous said...

I just doubted that you had pals, that's all.

PK said...

Well done, Anonymous, well done. Hilarious.

"The Hammer" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
"The Hammer" said...

I apologize for my previous comment. I was flailing away in frustration. That was a pretty good set up and I have to say I fell for it. Good job.
See you in the trenches.

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Nicely done, Hammer. Thank you.

..... said...

Much appreciated Mudge.

The Conservative Wahoo said...

Hammer--I've been to the Picasso Museum in Antibes; matter of fact, I thought Antibes to be among the prettiest places I'd visited. I'll never forget sitting at a little outdoor restaurant eating Coquille St. Jacques for the first time, watching the world go by.

I loved the way the museum there told you so much about how he lived. One cool thing? The pottery. Picasso--in addition to his paintings--was a potter, but really only as gifts for people. If you invited him to dinner, he'd often make a piece of pottery to give the host/hostess as a gift--and those gifts, donated by families all around Antibes--are there in the Museum.

ghost of halloween past said...

I'll dare a Kennedy mention from a NYT article:

"One night at Tavern on the Green in 1995, Jean Kennedy Smith, then the American ambassador to Ireland, was being honored by Irish America magazine for her work bringing about a cease-fire in Northern Ireland. To commemorate the event, a piece of Waterford crystal was carved in the shape of an American flag with eagles. It was a big, glittering hunk of glass that would be presented by the master of ceremonies, Donald Keough, an investment banker.

But before Mr. Keough or anyone else could get their hands on the crystal, another speaker heading for the podium brushed past the sculpture. It toppled off the back of the stage.

Mr. Keough looked down at the remains and took a deep breath.

“Madam Ambassador,” he announced, “you’re going to receive more pieces of Irish crystal than anyone in history.”

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