Saturday, September 18, 2010

Urban Hipsters To March On The Mall

Proving once again his infinite capacity to make fun of things other people say, do and create, Jon Stewart and his spawn Stephen Colbert are planning dueling "marches" on the Mall on October 30 (damn, I'm otherwise engaged).  I have been amused by the outpouring of support for the Comedy Central publicity stunt by my chic, young, urban hipster friends on Facebook --you know, the ones who secretly (or in one case, quite publicly) wish Jon Stewart were President (come to think of it, he's apparently very well-qualified, if recent election results are a guide).

Suggested Apparel for the Urban Hipster March
How will such a march go?  How will a group of people--whose basic approach to governing, government, politics and ideology consists of  1) we know better, because we're smarter 2) the people are largely incapable of governing themselves 3) we should choose which policy option is coolest, will make us more popular with more people, is most likely to get us laid and 4) the country would be a much better place if we all simply stopped judging each other, paid more taxes, became more reliant on government, stopped fighting wars, read the New York Times and the New Yorker, and avoided serious policy discussion in favor of smarmy, snarky, "we told you so's" and "my goodness, the American people are stupids".

Here are some suggested "themes" for the event:

  • "Hey Barack; Stop Doing Things--Just Talk--That's Why We Elected You!"
  • "Bush III"
  • "Why Patty Murray and Barbara Boxer are Smarter and Better Than Sarah Palin"
  • "We ARE the One's We've Been Waiting For--Can't You Stupid Tea Partiers See That?"
  • "The Constitution's Just Inconvenient"
  • "The Private Sector--Leeching Off The Goodness Of Enlightened Government"
  • "We ARE Middle Class--Can't You Tell?  I'm Driving A PRIUS for God's Sake!"
  • "Jon Stewart for Czar Czar!"
  • "Leave It To The Ivies (and Ivy Wannabe's Like William and Mary)"
  • "Experience is SO Overrated"
  • "Home-Schooling Is A Threat To The Public Education System:  I Learned This at Sidwell"
 Perhaps CW readers have a few suggested themes of their own! 


Mudge said...

Why listen to a bunch of old dude Founding Fathers?

Mudge said...

Why all the talk about CIVICS? Whoa! Is Barak giving us Honda rebates?

LTJG G said...

Lets break down Urban Hipsters Ignoramus with a Karate analogy. Primary news sources, easily and predictably coincide with perceived knowledge and intellectual hierarchy. Lets begin.

White Belt: The View, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Headline News, Joy Bair

Blue Belt: Lamestream Media Nightly News, Katie Couric, Christiane Amanpour, Brian Williams, CNN, USA Today

Yellow Belt: Any liberal news paper, Any CNN or MSNBC News Show (Andrea Mitchell)

Green Belt: NPR, any MSNBC JV Opinion News show (Ed Schultz, Chris Matthews)

Brown Belt: Huffington Post, Politico,, Maddow and Olbermann

Black Belt: The Daily Kos, Al Jazeera, Jon Stewart (for those left of left), Stephen Colbert (for those right of left, but still left of center)

I am not saying that I don't browse those site every now and then, sometimes to know my enemy and sometimes because the content and presentation is "decent." Stewart will sometimes call out Obama, but most of the time for either being too Bush-y or not left enough. But to form your world view based on those sources would leave you no option but to HATE Bush (I don't love or defend, but don't blanket HATE as mandated by the left), Conservatives and to fully subscribe to "Hope and Change, and defend it as prescribed.

Goldwater's Ghost said...

"Things Would Be A Lot Better For Everyone If We Could Just Be China For A Day."

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